Visit to the bathroom

[mantra]

Is it necessary to discuss bodily functions. It's so "Little Britainish". I'd rather hear about someone's operation to mend a broken finger or something a little more hygienic.

[Hammer]

Got transferred to the second bathroom by the wife because a turtle head was pushing its way out, sure sign of a brewer.

Took it out: this involves a number of pushing and groaning which is the worst part of the whole deal (I have had a shit pushed out before that went just below left knee) and today because of the size of the shit it was it was excruciating pain. I pushed the head into the tip of the bowl and I learned what real excruciating pain was! Nearly jumped to the fucking ceiling.

So, I pushed the bastard out. Now piled in the bowl I could see what I had for breakfast yesterday. Then came the burning and the wiping. It smelled like Monks house! Never smelled it before now, but then again today it was near the tip of my nose!

The stinker was in pieces, seven of them!

When I got up and looked at the bowl it looked like Monk after feeding: brown with traces of corn!

I ask what would happen if I didn't get out. Apparently you end up spending your retirement on political forums where you excrete it differently to normal folks