Post
by cynik » Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:42 pm
I understood the words, freediver. Indeed, I am willing to hear more from you on the topic, if you are willing to clarify your terms. Particularly the idea of "raw power", as opposed to the power to make legislation. That is, of itself, a deeply fascinating and legitimate topic for debate.
But my point in critiquing your prose is to make evident that your terminology is not sufficient to expose the subject matter in its full entirety. You need to make more sense. You need, with respect, to increase your working vocabulary such that you ensure that what you say makes better sense. I suggest using smaller words, and using word you fully understand. There is no shame in writing to your limits, and often fictional prose is the best way to do this.
I do it myself, oftentimes. If I am theorising on a new idea, I will often describe exactly where I was, and what i saw, when the idea came to me. This allows me to convey not just the idea, but the environment and and context that gave rise to the idea. This serves the purpose of allowing the reader to follow the sentiment more accurately, and when ideas are fresh this is an indispensible aid.
By including the detail of what we see, what we react to in the material world, we flesh out ideas with a common context, and by doing so take an audience with us into hazy territory. By contrast, definite statements and logical arguments must be utterly sound or they are instantly rendered false, and generally nonsensical.
Good prose is not an achievement in intellectual ability as much as it is an admission of humility, freediver.
But write as you wish. If what you say is sound, others will follow the beat of your drum. If it is not, and you do not try to reach out and explain the context of your feelings, you will be left behind.