You are what you think about

[sprintcyclist]

Easy to spot a yellow car when you are always thinking of a yellow car.
Easy to spot opportunity when you are always thinking of opportunity.
Easy to spot reasons to be mad when you are always thinking of being mad.
You become what you constantly think about.
Watch yourself.

[Super Nova]

The power of negative thinking. It took me a long time to learn the lessons around this. Still fall into the trap but now can see the warning signed and give myself a slap... well most times.

[Texan]

I've been consumed with my divorce for the past 4 months. Protecting myself and getting revenge where legal and ethical has ruled my life lately. My wife comes over several times per week to pack boxes and move things to storage. She has been living with her sister. She is desperate for me to take her back, but I have been watching her actions and reading her phone and text logs for the past 4 months and I can't trust her if I even wanted to. The divorce is almost final and I'm coming out of this situation great. I look forward to my prospects. My friends respect me and I'm saving huge money by divorcing. My sons are very protective of me and have defended me several times when talking to my wife. I told my sons that she didn't cheat on them and to leave my defense to me. I have this under control.

What has peaked my concern is that I almost made her cry yesterday during a conversation about our sons. I felt a glimmer of satisfaction when she teared up and her voice quivered. I've always been a nice "live and let live" kind of guy. I've never taken pleasure in someone else's misfortune, except when criminals get what they deserve. I guess it bothers me now because I spent 30 years loving this woman and giving her everything I am. She betrayed me and there is no going back anytime soon, but I still feel guilty about it because I've never felt this way about someone I know. I'll be glad when this is over and I can move to another place and put her behind me.

I'm not trying to take over this thread. I'm just noticing that I think about revenge often and I don't like living like this.

[Bobby]

I've been consumed with my divorce for the past 4 months. Protecting myself and getting revenge where legal and ethical has ruled my life lately. My wife comes over several times per week to pack boxes and move things to storage. She has been living with her sister. She is desperate for me to take her back, but I have been watching her actions and reading her phone and text logs for the past 4 months and I can't trust her if I even wanted to. The divorce is almost final and I'm coming out of this situation great. I look forward to my prospects. My friends respect me and I'm saving huge money by divorcing. My sons are very protective of me and have defended me several times when talking to my wife. I told my sons that she didn't cheat on them and to leave my defense to me. I have this under control.

What has peaked my concern is that I almost made her cry yesterday during a conversation about our sons. I felt a glimmer of satisfaction when she teared up and her voice quivered. I've always been a nice "live and let live" kind of guy. I've never taken pleasure in someone else's misfortune, except when criminals get what they deserve. I guess it bothers me now because I spent 30 years loving this woman and giving her everything I am. She betrayed me and there is no going back anytime soon, but I still feel guilty about it because I've never felt this way about someone I know. I'll be glad when this is over and I can move to another place and put her behind me.

I'm not trying to take over this thread. I'm just noticing that I think about revenge often and I don't like living like this.

"My wife comes over several times per week to pack boxes and move things to storage. "

That doesn't seem fair to me.
You shouldn't have to put up with her coming back again and again.

Tell her to finish the job in one go and not come back.

[Texan]

I've been consumed with my divorce for the past 4 months. Protecting myself and getting revenge where legal and ethical has ruled my life lately. My wife comes over several times per week to pack boxes and move things to storage. She has been living with her sister. She is desperate for me to take her back, but I have been watching her actions and reading her phone and text logs for the past 4 months and I can't trust her if I even wanted to. The divorce is almost final and I'm coming out of this situation great. I look forward to my prospects. My friends respect me and I'm saving huge money by divorcing. My sons are very protective of me and have defended me several times when talking to my wife. I told my sons that she didn't cheat on them and to leave my defense to me. I have this under control.

What has peaked my concern is that I almost made her cry yesterday during a conversation about our sons. I felt a glimmer of satisfaction when she teared up and her voice quivered. I've always been a nice "live and let live" kind of guy. I've never taken pleasure in someone else's misfortune, except when criminals get what they deserve. I guess it bothers me now because I spent 30 years loving this woman and giving her everything I am. She betrayed me and there is no going back anytime soon, but I still feel guilty about it because I've never felt this way about someone I know. I'll be glad when this is over and I can move to another place and put her behind me.

I'm not trying to take over this thread. I'm just noticing that I think about revenge often and I don't like living like this.

"My wife comes over several times per week to pack boxes and move things to storage. "

That doesn't seem fair to me.
You shouldn't have to put up with her coming back again and again.

Tell her to finish the job in one go and not come back.

She is taking most of the home furnishings. I don't want them. Its a big job and she doesn't have the means to hire it done. I have negotiated what I want and I can move it in 2-3 pickup loads. I've put the rest into storage already. I'm basically camping in my own house for the benefit of my youngest son who works and attends college nearby. I just need to pack my clothes and some dishes and I'm done.

[Bobby]

She is taking most of the home furnishings. I don't want them. Its a big job and she doesn't have the means to hire it done. I have negotiated what I want and I can move it in 2-3 pickup loads. I've put the rest into storage already. I'm basically camping in my own house for the benefit of my youngest son who works and attends college nearby. I just need to pack my clothes and some dishes and I'm done.

It sounds to me like she's conning you to get back with you
by using the furniture as an excuse to hang around and try her luck.

[Texan]

She is taking most of the home furnishings. I don't want them. Its a big job and she doesn't have the means to hire it done. I have negotiated what I want and I can move it in 2-3 pickup loads. I've put the rest into storage already. I'm basically camping in my own house for the benefit of my youngest son who works and attends college nearby. I just need to pack my clothes and some dishes and I'm done.

It sounds to me like she's conning you to get back with you
by using the furniture as an excuse to hang around and try her luck.

That is her motive, but it won't work. I made that clear last week and she signed the agreement. All that is left is for my lawyer to draw up the final documents for my signature and to get it before a judge.

[Bobby]

She is taking most of the home furnishings. I don't want them. Its a big job and she doesn't have the means to hire it done. I have negotiated what I want and I can move it in 2-3 pickup loads. I've put the rest into storage already. I'm basically camping in my own house for the benefit of my youngest son who works and attends college nearby. I just need to pack my clothes and some dishes and I'm done.

It sounds to me like she's conning you to get back with you
by using the furniture as an excuse to hang around and try her luck.

That is her motive, but it won't work. I made that clear last week and she signed the agreement. All that is left is for my lawyer to draw up the final documents for my signature and to get it before a judge.

I know a guy who was in your situation.
His wife is still living in his house 15 years after they were divorced.
She eventually had nowhere to go owing to her uncontrolled alcoholism.
No one wanted her but somehow the law prevented him from throwing her out on the street.
The cops bring her back and make him take her in -
there is no state accommodation for her - the Govt. doesn't want to know about it.
I don't understand it as she still drinks and goes into tantrums and has driven him crazy.
He even fears for his safety when she's drunk as she can do anything.

[Texan]

She is taking most of the home furnishings. I don't want them. Its a big job and she doesn't have the means to hire it done. I have negotiated what I want and I can move it in 2-3 pickup loads. I've put the rest into storage already. I'm basically camping in my own house for the benefit of my youngest son who works and attends college nearby. I just need to pack my clothes and some dishes and I'm done.

It sounds to me like she's conning you to get back with you
by using the furniture as an excuse to hang around and try her luck.

That is her motive, but it won't work. I made that clear last week and she signed the agreement. All that is left is for my lawyer to draw up the final documents for my signature and to get it before a judge.

I know a guy who was in your situation.
His wife is still living in his house 15 years after they were divorced.
She eventually had nowhere to go owing to her uncontrolled alcoholism.
No one wanted her but somehow the law prevented him from throwing her out on the street.
The cops bring her back and make him take her in -
there is no state accommodation for her - the Govt. doesn't want to know about it.
I don't understand it as she still drinks and goes into tantrums and has driven him crazy.
He even fears for his safety when she's drunk as she can do anything.

My wife gets a $110k and her truck as a parting gift when we part ways. She'll be on her own. She's a pretty girl. She'll find someone to use or vice-versa.

[Bobby]

She is taking most of the home furnishings. I don't want them. Its a big job and she doesn't have the means to hire it done. I have negotiated what I want and I can move it in 2-3 pickup loads. I've put the rest into storage already. I'm basically camping in my own house for the benefit of my youngest son who works and attends college nearby. I just need to pack my clothes and some dishes and I'm done.

It sounds to me like she's conning you to get back with you
by using the furniture as an excuse to hang around and try her luck.

That is her motive, but it won't work. I made that clear last week and she signed the agreement. All that is left is for my lawyer to draw up the final documents for my signature and to get it before a judge.

I know a guy who was in your situation.
His wife is still living in his house 15 years after they were divorced.
She eventually had nowhere to go owing to her uncontrolled alcoholism.
No one wanted her but somehow the law prevented him from throwing her out on the street.
The cops bring her back and make him take her in -
there is no state accommodation for her - the Govt. doesn't want to know about it.
I don't understand it as she still drinks and goes into tantrums and has driven him crazy.
He even fears for his safety when she's drunk as she can do anything.

My wife gets a $110k and her truck as a parting gift when we part ways. She'll be on her own. She's a pretty girl. She'll find someone to use or vice-versa.

The best you can do is find another place that she doesn't know about because she'll
burn through that money and be back on your door step.