Bad parenting

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The Reboot
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Bad parenting

Post by The Reboot » Tue Feb 04, 2020 12:52 pm

The bushfire thread was getting a bit off-topic, so I made a thread. Plus, I found an interesting article on ABC on the subject.

'Weak' parents are raising a generation of 'prince boofhead' boys

Weak parenting of boys is creating a generation of entitled brats who think they are owed the world and can lash out in violence when they do not get their way, adolescent psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg has said.

Mr Carr-Gregg has worked with families for three decades and said he was seeing an unmistakable increase in disrespectful and contemptuous boys who had a false belief they were flawless.

He said it stemmed from boys being raised to see the world, "as one giant, personalised, all-singing, all-dancing, 24/7 catering service exclusively for them".

"I do lay [responsibility] at the feet of parents," he told News Breakfast.

"I know that's not a popular thing to do and people will call me a parent-basher.

"But parents are actually becoming, in my view, weaker than ever before."

Mr Carr-Gregg has dubbed this "prince boofhead" syndrome, and has examined the issue in a new book co-authored with researcher Elly Robinson.

They conclude that the "child-centred parenting movement" that sprung up in response to the more authoritarian parenting practices of past generations had gone too far.

"There's so much pressure on the parents, driven by guilt, by God knows what, to actually accede to the requests of these kids," Mr Carr-Gregg said.

"Basic things like bed times. Kids need nine hours' sleep. They're not getting it.

"Every single research study shows they're in bed with their technology.

'Mums are copping the worst of it'

Among the worst manifestations of the "prince boofhead" boys are the ones who turn their aggression towards women in general, and their mums in particular.

"While boys are not as verbal or vitriolic as their sisters, they are physically stronger and can be terrifying in their anger, especially when it is directed towards their mothers, as it so often is," Mr Carr-Gregg writes.

"Somewhere along the line, these boys have been taught that it's OK, not just to talk to their mothers this way, but it's OK to talk to women this way, because they're somehow inferior and unimportant."

He said many psychologists agreed that kids take their most significant cues from the parent of the same sex.

"So for boys, their template on how to be a man, how to relate to women, is learned through watching their father," he said.

"So if the father is absent psychologically or perpetrates these behaviours, then we shouldn't really be surprised that we're seeing this syndrome."

He said it was still a small proportion of boys who fit the "prince boofhead" category, and that many of these learned behaviours could be addressed by more discipline and boundaries in their earlier years.

"Make absolutely sure right from the start that they do help around the house, that they do speak in a courteous manner, not just to their fathers but also to their mothers and all adults," he said.

Source

While I agree with much of this article, it isn't just the boys. The girls are equally bratty, and if people think girls can't act out in violence when they don't get their way, well sorry, but you've been living under a mushroom. There are countless videos of girls engaging in school brawls (while everybody stood around in a circle and watched, filming, rather than interceding or trying to prevent it).

Now, contrary to somebody's belief on this forum, I had great parents.

They taught me to help around the house (as the article says) and speak in a courteous manner. Of course, as I've grown up, I only speak or treat somebody in a courteous manner if they do the same to me. The moment one raises their tone and speaks to me like shit, or is condescending, you can kiss respect goodbye. I think this is pretty natural for everybody. They taught me to eat fruit and vegetables even if at the time they tasted like shit.

I am thankful they taught me these, as I've been to some people's houses and witnessed an absolute pigsty from people within my generation, and even generations before! Shit everywhere, dishes growing mold cause they haven't been washed, and inhabitants just sitting around doing nothing.

I wasn't a model child. If I acted like a brat and broke out in violence, disrespecting my parents, they would put me in my place. They didn't hit me, but they treated me with well-deserved contempt.

They also taught me the importance of work and jobs. Dad was (and still is) a labourer, a real working class man. They stressed how important it was to give it your best, show up at least 10 minutes early, and leave your personal baggage at home (and work baggage at the door).

Fast-forward to today, I'm 29 years old and my record is squeaky clean. No, I'm not an arsonist, despite alleged "poor parenting". :roll:

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billy the kid
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Re: Bad parenting

Post by billy the kid » Tue Feb 04, 2020 2:03 pm

Good post....
I recollect my late father busting his arse Monday to Friday when I was a kid with his 8 to 5 job.
To assist in paying the bills he would, in his spare time, build cupboards for his mates and sell them
for two quid, or whatever the amount...he also sharpened saws for five bob each...during the weekends, he would
mow the lawn, tend the gardens, paint parts of the house, walls, roof, whatever needed work...
He concreted under the house, and built a toilet to add to the back verandah when the sewerage
came through. He built the bed I slept in and a desk for me to do my school work.
He set a fine example for me....
Unfortunately he never had time to play with me, and I often wished he could have helped
me build my model aeroplanes. My late mother was always on his back over petty issues, and I
would have to say they were unhappily married. I had two sisters...we all grew up pretty good...
I feel that the example that fathers show is the main cause for boys growing up the way they do.
I have a family member who lost his father to suicide...the boy graduated from law school, and now works
for a prominent Sydney law firm...he grew up to respect his mother and is on the straight and narrow......
Two other family members have grown up poorly as their father has always had a stubbie in
his hand, and was often away from home with his job....both boys are on a one way trip to no-where...
My sons never saw me drink and if they back answered me at a young age they were sent to their room
for their insolence...only happened once....when the first was born I bought and studied books
on how to be a good father...I worked on it for years.....
Fathers..well some fathers..have an inability to communicate with their sons...and do not instill the
correct attitudes, values and feelings within their sons...whether they are unaware how to parent, or they
just give up because they are outnumbered by their sons and their mates on social media I don't know...
The late and great horse trainer Tommy Smith once said....you cant win races with donkeys...you have to have the
right cattle.....
This suggests that the quality or lack of quality in a child creates the end result..
But then again...who was it that said the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.....
Maybe we should bring back conscription...something needs to be done, as a lot of
kids these days are growing up to be total fuckwits...…
I could go on but I wont...…. :rofl
To discover those who rule over you, first discover those who you cannot criticize...Voltaire
Its coming...the rest of the world versus islam....or is it here already...

Texan
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Re: Bad parenting

Post by Texan » Tue Feb 04, 2020 2:54 pm

The traditional family is under attack and these are the results. Wives are expected to get a job and most kids are cared for by daycare centers, schools, and grandparents. The parents are busy paying the bills and the schools try to assume the roll of parenting and instilling morals and political values.(indoctrination) The results are kids who don't listen to their parents, pregnant students, youth crime, and no respect for the traditional family and values. Government steps in with welfare and takes the place of divorcing and young unmarried parents to keep the carnage spiraling out of control.

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The Reboot
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Re: Bad parenting

Post by The Reboot » Tue Feb 04, 2020 3:32 pm

You know, I love reading real stories from real people on here.
billy the kid wrote:
Tue Feb 04, 2020 2:03 pm
But then again...who was it that said the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.....
Maybe we should bring back conscription...something needs to be done, as a lot of
kids these days are growing up to be total fuckwits...…
I could go on but I wont...….
I believe genetics plays a big role and if the children don't pick up traits from their parents, they will pick it up from other family members. One of my uncles is an alcoholic (a 'working man' alcoholic, no less) who had four children. His youngest son was interested in music (more singing than instruments, he listened to Mariah Carey...) and so attempted to make it into the music industry. He has a lovely voice, even if his style of music isn't my cup of tea. He recorded songs and what not but didn't quite make it. He then studied to be a music teacher and is now living in London with his wife, who is also a musician. I believe he picked up this trait from another uncle, whose artistic talents are off the charts. Uncle T drew cartoons, played in a band and wrote poetry and studied (in his spare time, as a hobby) philosophy. As for the other children, I admit I don't know what they're doing but I know the two girls are happily married and have kids, and the other son followed in his father's footsteps and became a brickie. Also married with kids.

Conscription is an excellent idea. I know in South Korea it is mandatory for men to serve. It's a good way of teaching discipline, honour and self-respect... which the kids these days clearly lack. They're a bunch of intolerable sloths. :lol:
I had considered joining the army myself in my younger years. What put me off was the way the Government, and people with prejudice against the army because of the Vietnam War and the "peace and love" movement. I figured, why serve my country and do the Government's bidding if I get no thanks or appreciation for it?
Give me a prideful nation with a good Government and I will gladly serve.
Texan wrote:
Tue Feb 04, 2020 2:54 pm
The traditional family is under attack and these are the results. Wives are expected to get a job and most kids are cared for by daycare centers, schools, and grandparents. The parents are busy paying the bills and the schools try to assume the roll of parenting and instilling morals and political values.(indoctrination) The results are kids who don't listen to their parents, pregnant students, youth crime, and no respect for the traditional family and values. Government steps in with welfare and takes the place of divorcing and young unmarried parents to keep the carnage spiraling out of control.
Yep, if you click on the article you will see plastered on the side "IF YOUR CHILD IS VIOLENT SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP".

In other words... "RELY ON THE STATE TO RAISE YOUR KIDS!!"

If I were to raise a kid with a partner, I would ensure that one of us stayed home to raise the kid until the kid was old enough to go to school. Then the "stay-at-home" parent can find employment that works around the kid's schooling hours.. hypothetically. A lot of the problem in Australia is that everything is so expensive, there's a huge social expectation to get a mortgage and get a loan for this and that.. it seems we didn't learn from the global economic collapse of 2008. This forces both parents of a family unit to work. Although, I'm not sure if that's entirely justified when the new generation of parents are as childish as their children and have to have the best TV, the best coffee machine PLUS a $10 coffee from that cafe just across the road from work.. complete with a smashed avocado sandwich :roll: even if it's beyond their means.

Texan
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Re: Bad parenting

Post by Texan » Tue Feb 04, 2020 3:42 pm

My wife hasn't worked outside the home in over 25 years. Our youngest son is in his last year of high school. She wants to become a flight attendant, but I'll be happy with any job she gets. I'm tired and could use some help.

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Black Orchid
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Re: Bad parenting

Post by Black Orchid » Tue Feb 04, 2020 7:33 pm

I think one parent should always stay home with the kids if possible. It makes a huge difference and helps kids to grow up stable and secure in themselves.

You can't substitute child care or school for parenting and expect your kids to grow up balanced and secure unless you put in a huge effort when you get home from work. Most parents are too tired to put in the effort.

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Gordon
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Re: Bad parenting

Post by Gordon » Tue Feb 04, 2020 9:24 pm

I've got a 13 year old daughter and during the holidays and even the first few days back at school, we had blow up after blow up over the bloody fucking god damn phone :)

sprintcyclist
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Re: Bad parenting

Post by sprintcyclist » Tue Feb 04, 2020 10:45 pm

Malena Ernman and Svante Thunberg
Right Wing is the Natural Progression.

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The Reboot
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Re: Bad parenting

Post by The Reboot » Wed Feb 05, 2020 12:54 am

Black Orchid wrote:
Tue Feb 04, 2020 7:33 pm
I think one parent should always stay home with the kids if possible. It makes a huge difference and helps kids to grow up stable and secure in themselves.

You can't substitute child care or school for parenting and expect your kids to grow up balanced and secure unless you put in a huge effort when you get home from work. Most parents are too tired to put in the effort.
I often wonder what the point is in people having children if they're just gonna "farm" them out to daycare.

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The Reboot
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Re: Bad parenting

Post by The Reboot » Wed Feb 05, 2020 12:54 am

sprintcyclist wrote:
Tue Feb 04, 2020 10:45 pm
Malena Ernman and Svante Thunberg
:rofl

Yeah, Greta certainly fits the bill on self-entitled brat.

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