Help for men in crisis

[Neferti]

I have had 2 Uncles (by marriage) suicide. One, Uncle Arthur (way back in the 70s) had high BP and the medication made him "depressed". His daughter, who was 8 at the time, found him. He had used a gun! My Aunt is still alive and in her mid-90s.

Uncle Tom, another who suicided about 10+ years ago. My Mother's sister, Sylvia, found him in the garden with "Sorry Sylv" written on the blackboard at the garden shed. He had cancer and was just sick of it all.

I also had an email friend in Vancouver, he also got cancer and his last email to me was "I can't do this any more" ... several weeks later I got a message from his wife that "Tom couldn't go on".

What I am saying is, BigP ... there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that you could have done and you should NOT feel guilty.

[sprintcyclist]

I find it hard to understand how 2 people can live together for years and not see warning signs if one is a bit 'off'.

the warning signs might emerge over years and just be 'how he is now'

[sprintcyclist]

I have had 2 Uncles (by marriage) suicide. One, Uncle Arthur (way back in the 70s) had high BP and the medication made him "depressed". His daughter, who was 8 at the time, found him. He had used a gun! My Aunt is still alive and in her mid-90s.

Uncle Tom, another who suicided about 10+ years ago. My Mother's sister, Sylvia, found him in the garden with "Sorry Sylv" written on the blackboard at the garden shed. He had cancer and was just sick of it all.

I also had an email friend in Vancouver, he also got cancer and his last email to me was "I can't do this any more" ... several weeks later I got a message from his wife that "Tom couldn't go on".

What I am saying is, BigP ... there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that you could have done and you should NOT feel guilty.

yes, I agree.
There are lots of experts that he could have contacted or people he could have reached out to.
Also, we are not experts or trained in this areas.

A few of my brothers had seriously considered suicide. They did not tell me till after the crisis point had passed.

[cods]

I find it hard to understand how 2 people can live together for years and not see warning signs if one is a bit 'off'.

black orchid.. it is the living so long together that makes you NOT NOTICE....I was married for 32 years.. my husband thought he had flu..went to a doctor yes you have flu go home and see it out...two week later after buying all the mixtures the chemists sold...he went to another doctor...and she sent him for tests and he was admitted straight to hospital...lung cancer he died 8 days later.....I cant believe I didnt take more notice I still punish myself for taking him for granted....he was a smoker he gave up smoking 5 months before.... and still I didnt put two and two together.....he was dying in front of me.....and I didnt pick it up...when they told me in hospital just how bad he was I fell apart...I just was not prepared at all....my heart goes out to anyone who has had someone take their life because they too were unaware of their pain.....it isnt something you can pick up that easy, my husband never complained he was one in a million.....

am I still sad of course I am...I miss him every day and the same for those who lost someone they may have taken for granted and never ever expected to lose them,.. the shock fades but the questions never stop...

[cods]

I have had 2 Uncles (by marriage) suicide. One, Uncle Arthur (way back in the 70s) had high BP and the medication made him "depressed". His daughter, who was 8 at the time, found him. He had used a gun! My Aunt is still alive and in her mid-90s.

Uncle Tom, another who suicided about 10+ years ago. My Mother's sister, Sylvia, found him in the garden with "Sorry Sylv" written on the blackboard at the garden shed. He had cancer and was just sick of it all.

I also had an email friend in Vancouver, he also got cancer and his last email to me was "I can't do this any more" ... several weeks later I got a message from his wife that "Tom couldn't go on".

What I am saying is, BigP ... there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that you could have done and you should NOT feel guilty.

yes, I agree.
There are lots of experts that he could have contacted or people he could have reached out to.
Also, we are not experts or trained in this areas.

A few of my brothers had seriously considered suicide. They did not tell me till after the crisis point had passed.

sprint I trust you are keeping a close eye on these men when you can and give them your valuable time... so important.

[sprintcyclist]

Sorry to hear that Cods.

Yes, I contact them pretty often.
I also contact a few other mates pretty often.
They all like being ring up, few of them ring me back which is .... disappointing to a degree.
That is how it often is with men.

[cods]

Sorry to hear that Cods.

Yes, I contact them pretty often.
I also contact a few other mates pretty often.
They all like being ring up, few of them ring me back which is .... disappointing to a degree.
That is how it often is with men.

\
yes I think thats what Beyond Blue is all about contact keep the conversation going...

when people are depressed they find talking to be an awful effort....so well done to you
dont worry about them not calling back.. you shouldnt need a reward with a return call...its all about what YOU can do for someone else..

it takes a lot of effort to do that and you should be proud of yourself...just think if one calls you back.. thats all it takes..

[sprintcyclist]

Indeed, those depressed find it hard to talk, walk, get up ..............

Depression is much harder than I thought it was.
I generally don't experience it, one of my friends was telling me about it.
he was used to me listening well, so he was safe in telling me

[sprintcyclist]

TWO years ago, when boarding a flight from my home in the Whitsundays to Sydney, I suffered a panic attack.

This experience was the beginning of uncharted waters for me — an unplanned and often frightening mental health journey, which brought with it months of anxiety and panic attacks, three months off work, countless GP visits, crippling headaches, medical tests and imaging including an awful MRI of my brain, counselling referrals, meditation, lots of yoga and plenty of soul searching.

Two years into my journey, I’ve accepted that anxiety, to some degree, is now part of my daily life.

My anxiety manifests in a number of ways. It can vary between something as minor as a lump in my throat, a randomly elevated heart rate or a headache, to a major panic attack, where I must stop everything I am doing and return home to my perceived “safe” place.


Tim Oberg has found exercise and a support network of family and colleagues have helped with his anxiety. Picture: Trevor Ross
Despite experiencing this internal struggle in my private life, I have always felt compelled to talk about it. Even when in the depths of the worst of my anxiety, I have wanted to talk.

I recognise that mental health is a major issue, particularly for men and I’ve grappled with the many high profile people, living seemingly extraordinary lives, who lose their way so badly, often resulting in ending their lives. I didn’t want to be another statistic and I was, and still am, grateful that I’ve always wanted to talk about my anxiety.

The other crucial element in my recovery has been my support network. I am surrounded by a loving and understanding family and work colleagues.

As the CEO of parkrun, a company that sets up free 5km timed runs every week, my colleagues have carried the load when I haven’t been able to work. As a Parkrun participant in my local Whitsundays community, other parkrunners have been a constant source of positivity and warmth.

The running itself and the exercise endorphins have also been monumentally helpful. This is despite my internal battle in the first 500 metres of every run, where I struggle to convince myself that my raised heart rate is a physiological response to running and not a heart attack.
Thankfully, I now have more good days than bad. In fact, the bad days are becoming fewer and further between.

I still have issues with flying (airports seems to trigger the worst in me) which is ironic given that for most of my 20s, I ran my own travel business in London and have probably been on a thousand flights. I no longer drink coffee (but dream about doing so almost everyday) or alcohol (I don’t miss it at all) and processed foods have been pretty much eliminated from my diet (sugar makes my brain go crazy). However, I do see light at the end of this tunnel and I believe that part of my future involves helping others who are going through a similar battle.


For me, talking about my anxiety has been therapeutic and the response was overwhelming. My story has resonated with so many; people connected with my story and it opened a powerful dialogue. The experience has been incredibly validating for me — to help others find some peace with their own struggles brings me a sense of my own peace.

I encourage others — if you think sharing your story will help you, in the way that it has helped me, then get in touch. We’re all in this together and who knows, it might just be your therapy too.

https://www.couriermail.com.au/rendezvi ... fb4851ae2f


hopefully this trend of talking about problems for men continues

[BigP]

""""TWO years ago, when boarding a flight from my home in the Whitsundays to Sydney, I suffered a panic attack.

This experience was the beginning of uncharted waters for me — an unplanned and often frightening mental health journey, which brought with it months of anxiety and panic attacks, three months off work, countless GP visits, crippling headaches, medical tests and imaging including an awful MRI of my brain, counselling referrals, meditation, lots of yoga and plenty of soul searching.

Two years into my journey, I’ve accepted that anxiety, to some degree, is now part of my daily life."""""







I dont know whom posted this, My 21 year old daughter suffers from major anxiety, She cant get into a lift if there are more that a couple of people in it, She has an IQ in the top 15 percent and a A grade Uni student, but on occasion is crippled by it,