Help for men in crisis

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Black Orchid
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Help for men in crisis

Post by Black Orchid » Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:44 pm

THERE are two disturbing gender gaps in Australia.

We talk about the first one a lot. Women are paid less than men, and face far greater obstacles, particularly in the workplace. It’s a serious and maddening problem, which you can read more about here and here.

The second gender gap is harder to discuss, but no less important.

Last year 3128 people killed themselves in this country. Three quarters of them were men.

To anyone involved in suicide prevention, that figure is horribly familiar, because it is similarly skewed every year.

“What we know is that three out of every four suicides are men. Eight suicides a day in Australia; six are men,” says Glen Poole, Development Officer at the Australian Men’s Health Forum and founder of the Stop Male Suicide project.


Mr Poole believes Australia, and indeed most of the world, has been “missing the point” in its efforts to stop men from taking their own lives.

News.com.au is highlighting men’s mental health issues in its campaign The silent killer: Let’s make some noise in support of Gotcha4Life and the Movember Foundation.

As part of that, we are asking what more can be done, both by government and society in general, to help men avoid suicide.

TARGETED HELP

Mr Poole says one of the biggest mistakes we make is to treat male suicide and female suicide as though they’re the same.

“What we would like to see is government policies specifically targeting male suicide and female suicide in distinct and separate ways,” he tells news.com.au.

“There’s not enough of a gender focus. Pretty much all of the resources invested in suicide prevention are delivered in a gender neutral way, which may seem fair and egalitarian, but if we fail to take into account the differences between men and women, then we fail to put the focus and energy where it’s most needed.”

It sounds counterintuitive. Our instinct is to treat men and women as equals. But this is not an argument to help one more than the other; rather it is a plea to target support specifically to each gender more effectively.


For example, suicide prevention efforts often focus on people who have been diagnosed with a mental illness, or have attempted suicide before. A huge proportion of at-risk men fit in neither category.

That means they are often invisible to the mental health system.


“We are focusing a great deal of resources into supporting people who’ve previously attempted suicide, which is a very beneficial thing to do,” Mr Poole says.

“However the vast majority of people who report attempting suicide are women. Mostly having attempted to overdose. Which often doesn’t capture the men who have been contemplating suicide.

“Men are far more likely to die at the first reported attempt. We don’t get a second chance.”

Around 80 per cent of male suicides are not linked to any mental health diagnosis. Which begs the question — what are they linked to?


“Different types of life crises,” Mr Poole says. “Relationship breakdown, work issues — whether that’s stress at work or the stress of not having work — financial stress, for older men physical health issues, and other things such as bereavement, alcohol abuse, trouble with the law.”

The key is to focus on helping men overcome those issues.

“Our conventional approach to suicide prevention, which is to encourage men to talk more about their feelings about their mental health, is missing the point,” he says.

“Most men who end up taking their lives are dealing with life crises, not necessarily dealing with mental health issues that require a conversation about their feelings.”
The federal government is spending $79 million, up until the 2020-21 financial year, on a range of national suicide prevention support activities and programs. Some of them specifically target men.

Mates in Construction and OzHelp both support men in male-dominated workplaces.

Parents Beyond Breakup helps separated parents cope with their strained circumstances, and runs particularly good Dads in Distress support groups.

According to Mr Poole, all three programs have proven effective.

“A quarter of male suicides are linked to separation, so support groups like Parents Beyond Breakup are a form of suicide prevention,” he says.

On top of that, the government is providing $1.23 billion to its Primary Health Networks across the country to plan out mental health and suicide prevention services at a regional level.

That funding covers 12 different suicide prevention trials, aimed at discovering which strategies work best. For instance, the Primary Health Network in rural South Australia will be holding a men’s “Save Your Mates” forum series in February next year.

The government also funds a range of digital mental health services, which you can access through its online portal here.

And you have probably already heard of Headspace, which gives young men aged between 12 and 25 access to mental health support. That age group is particularly vulnerable to suicide, which accounts for a full third of deaths among people in their late teens and early twenties.

“The government is committed to reducing the number and impact of suicides in Australia, and ensuring the development of a better integrated mental health system that can support individuals when and where it is needed,” a spokeswoman for the Department of Health told news.com.au.

“The Fifth National Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Plan has established a national approach to ensure better integrated mental health and related services in Australia. This includes services for men.

“Separately, work has begun on a National Male Health Strategy (2020-2030) which will focus on the mental and physical health of men and boys.

>snip<

Figures from the Bureau of Statistics reveal just how stark the problem is.

Australia’s suicide rate has not fallen in the last decade. In fact, it has actually increased recently, leaping 9 per cent from 2016 to 2017.

Intentional self-harm is the 10th-highest cause of death among men, with a rate of 19.1 deaths per 100,000 people. It does not even rank in the top 20 causes of death for women, whose rate is just 6.2 deaths per 100,000.
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/healt ... 5983efd9a6

sprintcyclist
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Re: Help for men in crisis

Post by sprintcyclist » Fri Oct 12, 2018 12:25 am

Thanks Black Orchid.
Right Wing is the Natural Progression.

sprintcyclist
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Re: Help for men in crisis

Post by sprintcyclist » Fri Oct 12, 2018 12:37 am

............. Around 80 per cent of male suicides are not linked to any mental health diagnosis. Which begs the question — what are they linked to?

“Different types of life crises,” Mr Poole says. “Relationship breakdown, work issues — whether that’s stress at work or the stress of not having work — financial stress, for older men physical health issues, and other things such as bereavement, alcohol abuse, trouble with the law.”

The key is to focus on helping men overcome those issues.

“Our conventional approach to suicide prevention, which is to encourage men to talk more about their feelings about their mental health, is missing the point,” he says.

“Most men who end up taking their lives are dealing with life crises, not necessarily dealing with mental health issues that require a conversation about their feelings.” .................
Yes, I'ld mostly agree with that.

I'ld think well before that stage men are not expressing our emotions well.
Decades before that stage men are bottling up bad emotions about minor things.
Then when a real problem arises, we have little in reserve, no experience in emotional expression and no outlet.
Right Wing is the Natural Progression.

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Valkie
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Re: Help for men in crisis

Post by Valkie » Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:01 am

Yes, I'ld mostly agree with that.

I'ld think well before that stage men are not expressing our emotions well.
Decades before that stage men are bottling up bad emotions about minor things.
Then when a real problem arises, we have little in reserve, no experience in emotional expression and no outlet.
This is because we are constantly told to "tough it out".
Besides , we don't matter, women are more important.
Look at breast cancer
Prostrate cancer kill as many men, but how much do you see about that, yet breast cancer is everywhere.

Suicide is the final act of desperation.
Not cutting ones wrist, not taking a few pills and phoning a friend.
Men use guns, or cars as suicides
A friend of mine works in the coroner's office
From what he tells me a sizable proportion of car "accidents" are male suicides.

I also lost a good mate when his absolute creature of a wife kicked him out of his house and levelled some disgusting accusations at him.
She took him for everything he was worth, mainly because he loved his children.
He was living out of his car to survive.
Why you ask? Because
She needed her own space
And she found a dead beat boyfriend who was "there for her" because my mate was at work.

He took his life.
She immediately went for his estate, which was nothing, and she cursed him.

I was so happy when her boyfriend left her.
The money had dried up and he started looking for fresh pastures.

My mate never saw his kids again.

It's not fair
And with this new men bashing exercise meeeee toooooo
It's only going to get worse.

We need to wake up And not favour one over the other.
I have a dream
A world free from the plague of Islam
A world that has never known the horrors of the cult of death.
My hope is that in time, Islam will be nothing but a bad dream

sprintcyclist
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Joined: Wed May 07, 2008 11:26 pm

Re: Help for men in crisis

Post by sprintcyclist » Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:44 am

Good input Valkie - thanks.

A friend of mine was close to suicide after his marriage breakup. He was emotionally incapable of the seperation.
He had the rope out and a tree ready.
She worked him over easily and took his house from him.
He did not accept any help, he did not go on a course I offered to pay for.

He is emotionally 'repressed'. Not mature in that way. Talking about emotions scares him.


It is clear in chatrooms how few men communicate genuinely with other men.
Almost all men here are nice to the ladies.
ladies are in the main nice to ladies.
Few men chat sensibly with other men.
Right Wing is the Natural Progression.

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Valkie
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Re: Help for men in crisis

Post by Valkie » Fri Oct 12, 2018 4:59 pm

sprintcyclist wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:44 am
Good input Valkie - thanks.

A friend of mine was close to suicide after his marriage breakup. He was emotionally incapable of the seperation.
He had the rope out and a tree ready.
She worked him over easily and took his house from him.
He did not accept any help, he did not go on a course I offered to pay for.

He is emotionally 'repressed'. Not mature in that way. Talking about emotions scares him.


It is clear in chatrooms how few men communicate genuinely with other men.
Almost all men here are nice to the ladies.
ladies are in the main nice to ladies.
Few men chat sensibly with other men.
We, as men, need to communicate more.
Men don't really communicate, honestly, we simply talk, boast, muck about and pontificate.

Most have no idea how to speak to their partners
Few know how to communicate their fears, feelings and worries.

Just look at the thread I posted to about how I love my wife
I was knocked, but it don't matter.

Some of us are lucky and have good women
Some are fortunate enough to be able to cope
Some even have friends with whom they can discuss things.

But the sad few that do not have these things are in trouble.

I try to help any time I can
I never judge a man or woman, if they come to me or talk to me.
I have a reputation for being a good listener and I never divulge what is told to me.
People talk, I listen, they usually only want a sounding board, not solutions.
A little cry, some angry yelling, a simple statement.

People sometimes need help
Why shouldn't we give it to them?
I have a dream
A world free from the plague of Islam
A world that has never known the horrors of the cult of death.
My hope is that in time, Islam will be nothing but a bad dream

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Black Orchid
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Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 1:10 am

Re: Help for men in crisis

Post by Black Orchid » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:20 pm

Valkie wrote:
Fri Oct 12, 2018 4:59 pm
People sometimes need help
Why shouldn't we give it to them?
Exactly right.

I know it's hard but if we can we should ignore the negativity online. It's all hype and cowardice.

sprintcyclist
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Joined: Wed May 07, 2008 11:26 pm

Re: Help for men in crisis

Post by sprintcyclist » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:25 pm

Valkie - ' .......... Men don't really communicate, honestly, we simply talk, boast, muck about and pontificate.

Most have no idea how to speak to their partners
Few know how to communicate their fears, feelings and worries.

Just look at the thread I posted to about how I love my wife
I was knocked, but it don't matter.

Some of us are lucky and have good women
Some are fortunate enough to be able to cope
Some even have friends with whom they can discuss things.

But the sad few that do not have these things are in trouble...................... '


I agree entirely.

Almost everyone congratulated you on expressing your love for you wife.
the single person who made poor comments was rightly ignored by everyone else
Right Wing is the Natural Progression.

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Valkie
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Re: Help for men in crisis

Post by Valkie » Sat Oct 13, 2018 7:59 am

I do not seek or want congratulations for loving my wife
I express it every day.
My children are equally loved
That's the thing about love, it's a never ending and even self generating resource.

Nearly 40 years married
44 years together, it's been my life
There is little I would change in my life, and none of it to do with my wife or children other than to see more of them.

Unfortunately, I have had jobs that have taken me away for weeks, sometimes months at a time
I have worked 6 days a week for years, missing out on my children growing up.
But this is life, and we must live with what we are given.

The main thing is to be true to yourself
Never back down
Love with total abandon
Treat everyone the same, but do not tolerate abuse.
Fight every fight as if your life depended on it

But most of all
Tell those you love, that you love them.
I have a dream
A world free from the plague of Islam
A world that has never known the horrors of the cult of death.
My hope is that in time, Islam will be nothing but a bad dream

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BigP
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Re: Help for men in crisis

Post by BigP » Sat Oct 13, 2018 3:06 pm

Every white man is in crisis, We take on the burden of everything that is fucken on this planet. The middle class ones that is, And just for the fecord I am no longer going to get fussy about my spelling or anything fucken esle about my posts ________________

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