Dorothy Dix's couch

[Super Nova]

Dear Dorothy,

My wife appears to love our new dog more than me.

I thought if I emulated the new pet it would help. I have tried hanging my tongue out and panting really heavily when she is around but that doesn't seem to work. Leg humping has failed as well.

What should i do?

Your Sincerely,
An old dog

Licking your own testicles would be convincing.

I tried this but alas this old dog cannot learn this new trick.

[sprintcyclist]

Ah well, at least you tried.

[cods]

dear sn

I am so sorry o hear your dog is more in favor than yourself....

sadly we experts hear more and more on this level

I have spoken to a vet on this issue
he just said the same thing happened to him
however I believe every problem has an answer..

here is what you must do...cosy up to your beloved dog.. take him for long walks where he will enjoy amazing aromas he hasnt come across before...he will thank you.. and he will have to choose who he wags his tail at the most...... this in turn will make your wife realise how irresistible you are because Bozo cannot get enough of you..
she will in fact be panting at your heels....

happy walkies..

Dotty!

[Super Nova]

Dear Dorothy,

I tried walking the dog last night.... we had a good time. When we got home the dog leg humped me and the wife saw it. The wife accused me of cheating on her, you know, monk style.

Things are worse than ever.

Any advice to fix the mess you got me in.

Regards,
Mike

[cods]

dear sn

she is showing typical female jealousy....you cannot win...

your dog has obviously shown her more love than you have.. and this is payback time.

I suggest you start renovating the dog kennel..maybe install a bit of heating...

as it really looks like Bozo the dog is a trouble maker and he is going win..

I have the name of a tradie is you need one to fix the dog house..

blessings to you and yours...

the Bill is in the mail...please pay asap..

dotty.

[Super Nova]

Dear Dorothy,

There is no dog house, the mutt sleeps next to the bed on her side. I am starting to get suspicous and why she insists I take sleeping pills to knock me out.

I am planning a little accident for fido so he has no moreballs to lick. I am hoping this will do the trick to render the prick's prick useless.

Do you think my plan will work?

Your sincerly,

Vlad the Impaler

[BigP]

Come on Dot, Lick those lips , we have work to do lol

[cods]

this office is closed due too unforeseen circumstances..

the management!

[sprintcyclist]

Dorothys on extended leave.

The expert has arrived, ask away.

[cods]

sn someone has launched an attack on dorothy accusing her of encouraging beastility taunts...

dorothy is horrified...to think anyone could see anything wrong with

a the question
b the reply...

but as we all know! or most of us do there is always a lowlife lingering like a bad smell...in the hallways of every decent forum...

I am standing up for dorothys integrity...to believe anyone would read such filth into a thread like this..

shows me what type of a person we are dealing with..

I am more than disgusted and very tempted to inform the owner of said forum....

dorothy is still coming to terms with the accusation and prefer to wait until she has calmed down before making a final decision..

in the mean time

if sprint feels he can take over be my guest.

.