Pastor Eaten
Forum rules
It's such a fine line between stupid and clever. Random guest posting.
It's such a fine line between stupid and clever. Random guest posting.
- AiA in Atlanta
- Posts: 7259
- Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:44 pm
Pastor Eaten
Christianity meets stupid
Jonathon Mthethwa of the Saint of the Last Days Church was attempting to demonstrate his ability to walk on water when he died.
Unfortunately for Pastor Mthethwa, he chose to show off his biblical super powers on what is known as ‘Crocodile River’ which, as it turned out, wasn’t the smartest move.
According to The Nigerian Daily Post the pastor drowned as he attempted to cross the river and was eventually seen being eaten by three crocodiles.
A member of the church, Deacon Nkosi, told the newspaper:
The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week.
He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by three large crocodiles in front of us.
We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week.
According to witnesses, Mr Mthethwa waded out into the river and when he was around 30 meters out he attempted to ascend above the water.
This didn’t happen.
Instead three crocodiles appeared and tore him apart in just a few minutes and all that was left was a pair of sandals and his underwear floating above the water.
Emergency services were quick to arrive on the scene in 30 minutes but as there’s no known cure for being eaten by crocodiles, they were strictly decorative and could do nothing to help.
Jonathon Mthethwa of the Saint of the Last Days Church was attempting to demonstrate his ability to walk on water when he died.
Unfortunately for Pastor Mthethwa, he chose to show off his biblical super powers on what is known as ‘Crocodile River’ which, as it turned out, wasn’t the smartest move.
According to The Nigerian Daily Post the pastor drowned as he attempted to cross the river and was eventually seen being eaten by three crocodiles.
A member of the church, Deacon Nkosi, told the newspaper:
The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week.
He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by three large crocodiles in front of us.
We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week.
According to witnesses, Mr Mthethwa waded out into the river and when he was around 30 meters out he attempted to ascend above the water.
This didn’t happen.
Instead three crocodiles appeared and tore him apart in just a few minutes and all that was left was a pair of sandals and his underwear floating above the water.
Emergency services were quick to arrive on the scene in 30 minutes but as there’s no known cure for being eaten by crocodiles, they were strictly decorative and could do nothing to help.
- Super Nova
- Posts: 11787
- Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:49 am
- Location: Overseas
Re: Pastor Eaten
But he prayed and fasted... why oh why didn't it work... OMG
Always remember what you post, send or do on the internet is not private and you are responsible.
-
- Posts: 3457
- Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 4:05 pm
Re: Pastor Eaten
evolution ... the stupid die first.
- Super Nova
- Posts: 11787
- Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:49 am
- Location: Overseas
Re: Pastor Eaten
.
Always remember what you post, send or do on the internet is not private and you are responsible.
- Super Nova
- Posts: 11787
- Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:49 am
- Location: Overseas
Re: Pastor Eaten
If only that were true. The stupid seem to breed the moment they can and have lots of them. While the more intelligent hold off until they can afford them and have a couple.J o h n S m i t h wrote:evolution ... the stupid die first.
The gene pool is getting dumber.......
Always remember what you post, send or do on the internet is not private and you are responsible.
- IQS.RLOW
- Posts: 19345
- Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 10:15 pm
- Location: Quote Aussie: nigger
Re: Pastor Eaten
Which is why the left love collectivism.J o h n S m i t h wrote:evolution ... the stupid die first.
Stupid people shielding other stupid people and teaching them to be more stupid.
Quote by Aussie: I was a long term dead beat, wife abusing, drunk, black Muslim, on the dole for decades prison escapee having been convicted of paedophilia
- AiA in Atlanta
- Posts: 7259
- Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:44 pm
Re: Pastor Eaten
It isn't just religious people who ignore the laws of physics: whenever it rains here, or the road is just wet, the interstate I take to the office is full of car wrecks only because drivers don't believe that wet, slippery roads demand that one drive slower and leave a wider gap between the car just ahead ...
-
- Posts: 6433
- Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2016 9:52 am
Re: Pastor Eaten
I thought Pastor Eaten was the name of the bloke that was eaten..
-
- Posts: 3457
- Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 4:05 pm
Re: Pastor Eaten
IQS.RLOW wrote:Which is why the left love collectivism.J o h n S m i t h wrote:evolution ... the stupid die first.
Stupid people shielding other stupid people and teaching them to be more stupid.
if that were even half true, you'd be a life member of the communist party. You just don't get any more stupid than you.
- IQS.RLOW
- Posts: 19345
- Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 10:15 pm
- Location: Quote Aussie: nigger
Re: Pastor Eaten
It's 100% true.J o h n S m i t h wrote:IQS.RLOW wrote:Which is why the left love collectivism.J o h n S m i t h wrote:evolution ... the stupid die first.
Stupid people shielding other stupid people and teaching them to be more stupid.
if that were even half true...
You are exhibit A.
Quote by Aussie: I was a long term dead beat, wife abusing, drunk, black Muslim, on the dole for decades prison escapee having been convicted of paedophilia
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 29 guests