Petition to stop the unwanted calls

[Black Orchid]

I don't answer calls from unknown numbers. Makes life simple.

I don't either but it irritates me that I have to be interrupted to even check.

[mantra]

I usually try to be polite to them if they speak intelligible English, but otherwise my patience has worn thin and I usually hang up. The same people still ring repeatedly with their scams and sales spiels. The 'do not call' register is useless.

[Neferti]

I haven't heard for ages from the Indian guys who call saying they are from Microsoft and ask you to check your computer. Last time they called I put on a "little old lady" voice and told them I didn't have a computer. He replied "You really don't have a computer?" and I repeated "I really don't have a computer" and he laughed and laughed and laughed and hung up. They haven't called since.

I get lots of calls from Charities ... One (Heart Foundation I think) wanted me to collect for them in my Street ... told them that I was "disabled". They haven't asked me again. A neighbour got roped in to collect for them and I do give a donation but I am not going to go begging from my neighbours on their behalf. Stuff that.

[Redneck]

A few interesting ones here
https://www.reddit.com/r/australia/comm ... ian_phone/

Tell them that Kashmir belongs to Pakistan and India won't be a superpower by 2020.

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[–]CocaCoal 1 point an hour ago

Kashmir is by Puff Daddy.

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[–]2littleducks 1 point an hour ago

Why did Led Zeppelin give Puff Daddy permission to use Kashmir in his 1998 song "Come With Me" from the "Godzilla" soundtrack?

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[–]BronzeVgametheories 1 point an hour ago

Great origin story from Page on the riffs in Kashmir: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODidAgdL40Y" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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[–]kzielinski 8 points 2 hours ago*

I recall hearing a story of someone doing the following:

having a clean windows VM.
sticking a zip bomb called passwords.zip on the desktop
Gave the scammer remote desktop access to the vm.
he then sit back and watched as the spammer downloaded the zipbomb and destroyed his own system by trying to unzip it.

EDIT I would not recomend doing this unless you know exactly what you are doing and are certain that it won't compromise your main system. Even though i work in IT its note something I'd be game to run the risk on myself.

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[–]HeadacheCentral 4 points an hour ago

That may have been me. I've certainly done this (among other things, including a cryptolocker infected executable named something enticing on the desktop).

Best one I pulled had the (female) agent convinced I was a high ranking officer in the AFP and with the cooperation of Interpol had just given the go-ahead for a swat raid - leaving her crying and screaming for mercy, waiting for raid. I almost pissed myself laughing,

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[–]CohenC 2 points an hour ago

Just trick them into syskeying their pc

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[–]LuckyBdx4Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? 1 point an hour ago

Hilarious.

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[–]eateggs 1 point 49 minutes ago

Gold. For anyone in a rush the good bit starts at about 20:30

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[–]DasNocti 1 point 48 minutes ago

I used to have a Vista VM like this. Included masked virii, and the documents folder was full of macro-bombed word documents padded with photos of gory things like an abattoir.

Call came in (there was a spate of them and I'd had two that week) and I let the guy talk me into granting access, then "had to answer the door".

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[–]CocaCoal 7 points 2 hours ago

bang their mum

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[–]INeedACuddle 5 points 2 hours ago

i reckon the trick is to try and waste as much of their time as possible, but there is a bit of a trade-off in that i must waste my own time in order to waste theirs

i'm not aware of anything that one can actually say that will piss them off, as far as insults etc are concerned because they would get this sort of thing all the time and wouldn't take insults from a stranger personally

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[–]thenewkumden 4 points 2 hours ago

Tell them you work for at or above the minimum wage.

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[–]dilbot3 4 points an hour ago

Tell them they suck at cricket.

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[–]L1ttl3J1m 3 points 2 hours ago*

Fire up a virtual machine that you have prepared earlier with WireShark, or your favourite packet sniffer.

Allow them to connect to it - Make them work for it - and get the IP address that they are connecting from.

Inform the relevant authorities

Make popcorn.

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[–]edubya15 3 points an hour ago

I always try to waste their time. I tell them I am very interested and ask them to tell me everything about it - this usually takes 5-10mins. While they're talking I just put the phone down to the side and continue on with my day, eventually they ask a question and get nothing back, then hang up. time wasted for them = yes. time wasted for me = none.

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[–]2littleducks 3 points an hour ago

Not interested bhai chod, have a nice day/evening...then hang up.

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[–]LuckyBdx4Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? 2 points an hour ago

bhak chod?

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[–]pixelwhip 2 points 2 hours ago

Pretend to do what they say, lead them along for a while, then tell them you have a mac

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[–]Ardeet 7 points an hour ago

I have done this at least twice over the past year and a bit when they have been unlucky enough to call when I had spare time and/or a couple of wines under the belt.

I found the key is to pretend that I know very little and tell them that I have a very old slow computer. That way I can stretch out "turning it on and booting it up" for several minutes. Once booted up the terms "desktop", "icons" and "mouse pointer" become incomprehensible concepts that need to be explained to me in excruciating detail.

When I sense their patience is almost at an end I ask "Is that the one near the little picture of an apple in the corner?"

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[–]pixelwhip 3 points an hour ago

Gold!

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[–]suspended-account 2 points 2 hours ago

Hello, it's Lenny :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSoOrlh5i1k" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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[–]RedditWatchesYou1 2 points an hour ago

Other than It's Lenny or the zip bomb, ask them to wait while you go get your laptop and wait for it turn on, then put the phone down and leave it until they hang up.

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[–]nilsurpriso 2 points an hour ago

Tell them to hang on while you get a biro to take notes, because this sounds important. Place phone down on bench, table, etc. Resume watching A Current Affair. Check phone in fifteen minutes, hang up as necessary.

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[–]RandomUser1076 1 point 2 hours ago

If you have a young toddler give them the phone.

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[–]iiBuzz7S 1 point an hour ago

Call them a "maichod".

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[–]GletscherEis 1 point 49 minutes ago

Bhenchod is fun too.

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[–]shortbaldman 1 point an hour ago

keep them online as long as possible. Then laugh at them.

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[–]StrykahThat's not a knife, that's a spoon 1 point an hour ago

And saved. Great points in this thread.

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[–]eateggs 1 point 44 minutes ago

Acting very gay makes them uncomfortable but I haven't had a call in months after I started ranting incoherently at them about the sun killing us all, tidal waves, chemtrails. Whatever really. Oh, and tell them you hope Union Carbide builds a new plant in their town

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[Neferti]

They are very annoying and you can be sure (if you are retired like I am) that if the phone rings around 3 o'clock in the afternoon, it will be one of them.

The Do Not Disturb thing was a great idea but it does not work. Getting a silent number doesn't work either.

One thing I have not done is register my Mobile Phone number as a matter of course ... friends have it but I don't hand it out to businesses, etc. I do NOT want my Mobile Phone on some list somewhere.

Here is a site you can check phone numbers that called you, and report them .... http://au.whocalledme.net/

[mantra]

The charities are almost as bad, but they have a horrible job so I'm polite. Occasionally I might buy a small book of tickets, but generally I tell them that I can't do it. I don't like the fact that only about 5% of the transaction actually goes to the charity.

[Redneck]

The charities are almost as bad, but they have a horrible job so I'm polite. Occasionally I might buy a small book of tickets, but generally I tell them that I can't do it. I don't like the fact that only about 5% of the transaction actually goes to the charity.

I had one the other day that I told I never give out my credit card details over the phone.

I suggested he could post me a pamphlet and I would consider it

He got a bit snotty at that.

[mantra]

I had one the other day that I told I never give out my credit card details over the phone.

I tell them that too. They seem happy enough with sending me out a book of tickets - most of them go in the bin though.

[Black Orchid]

I am always nice to the charity callers and mainly get them from the NSW Fire Service.

[Neferti]

I like the Red Cross. I contribute. Annually. My neighbour does Vinnies. She gets $2 from me and a chat.

I just don't think they should "con" people to collect from their neighbours. I don't know my neighbours but that makes it even worse. "Hello, I am your neighbour and live at .... collecting for the Heart Foundation" .... bullshit. Enticing people to "donate" 2 bucks ...