Corporal punishment
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It's such a fine line between stupid and clever. Random guest posting.
It's such a fine line between stupid and clever. Random guest posting.
- mantra
- Posts: 9132
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2010 9:45 am
Corporal punishment
I would think a few of us here grew up with corporal punishment. I don't believe in it - violence begets violence.
Did anyone else grow up on those American movies that their parents loved? It seemed normal to see women thrown over a man's knee and spanked or a child belted, yet today it would be considered domestic violence or child abuse. Teachers would throw objects at inattentive children and chatting too much would result in a smack with a ruler or for the boys - the cane. Some of our parents might have believed in a few sharp slaps for disobedience, however we learnt quickly because of these threats.
The yanks have a lot to answer for. My generation grew up under the threat of physical punishment for bad behaviour, but our children haven't. Has the softly softly approach been the better one or are young people too sensitive now?
Did anyone else grow up on those American movies that their parents loved? It seemed normal to see women thrown over a man's knee and spanked or a child belted, yet today it would be considered domestic violence or child abuse. Teachers would throw objects at inattentive children and chatting too much would result in a smack with a ruler or for the boys - the cane. Some of our parents might have believed in a few sharp slaps for disobedience, however we learnt quickly because of these threats.
The yanks have a lot to answer for. My generation grew up under the threat of physical punishment for bad behaviour, but our children haven't. Has the softly softly approach been the better one or are young people too sensitive now?
- lisa jones
- Posts: 11228
- Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:06 pm
Re: Corporal punishment
Look, our parents hit us.
But it was mainly mum. She threw her slippers at us....and she never missed either lol.
These days, it's more a case of verbal retaliation to nonsense.
I'm not just referring to our household, all our friends and rels try to talk/reason with their kids.
The problem with this method is that it doesn't always work.
So at times I have to use angry facial expressions + an angry voice tone + I threaten to send the kids to bed for time out.
If we're out and about and they muck up, I give them a particular stern and angry look....and I say, "Oh you must be sooooo tired. That's it, it's time to go home and get into bed."
I so wish I could go to bed for some time out.
NB I have at times given the kids a quick flick with my hand on their bum. IMO, the sudden aspect of this technique works wonders when kids go too far. It wakes them up from what appears to be a trance of tanty filled idiocy. I don't want to see my kids lash out physically against each other....so if/when this happens, a sudden flick with my hand on their bum wakes them up quick smart. And then it's Time Out.
But it was mainly mum. She threw her slippers at us....and she never missed either lol.
These days, it's more a case of verbal retaliation to nonsense.
I'm not just referring to our household, all our friends and rels try to talk/reason with their kids.
The problem with this method is that it doesn't always work.
So at times I have to use angry facial expressions + an angry voice tone + I threaten to send the kids to bed for time out.
If we're out and about and they muck up, I give them a particular stern and angry look....and I say, "Oh you must be sooooo tired. That's it, it's time to go home and get into bed."
I so wish I could go to bed for some time out.
NB I have at times given the kids a quick flick with my hand on their bum. IMO, the sudden aspect of this technique works wonders when kids go too far. It wakes them up from what appears to be a trance of tanty filled idiocy. I don't want to see my kids lash out physically against each other....so if/when this happens, a sudden flick with my hand on their bum wakes them up quick smart. And then it's Time Out.
I would rather die than sell my heart and soul to an online forum Anti Christ like you Monk
- lisa jones
- Posts: 11228
- Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:06 pm
Re: Corporal punishment
My friend across the road is Greek and has 3 kids under 10. Both she and her husband are in their mid 40's and never ever smack or scream at their kids. They try to reason with them only.
The result?
2 beautiful but VERY quiet, introverted girls who obey..and 1 boy (aged 5 ... also the youngest) who is out of control and causes utter havoc both at home and at school. One could be excused for thinking he was demon possessed and in urgent need of an exorcism. He torments his 2 sisters and his class mates. His parents were recently asked to come to school to discuss their son's behaviour.
I've told my friend many times that she needs to give him a smack on the bum...NOW while there is still time.
She dismisses this advice even though she often comments on how well behaved my kids are.
My husband often tells me that he doesn't want their son to play with our kids. Why? He reckons their kid is outta control and will end up in jail one day.
Anyway, I'm going out for coffee with her today. Lord knows what she'll tell me about her son....he's a never ending drama/trauma in their lives.
The result?
2 beautiful but VERY quiet, introverted girls who obey..and 1 boy (aged 5 ... also the youngest) who is out of control and causes utter havoc both at home and at school. One could be excused for thinking he was demon possessed and in urgent need of an exorcism. He torments his 2 sisters and his class mates. His parents were recently asked to come to school to discuss their son's behaviour.
I've told my friend many times that she needs to give him a smack on the bum...NOW while there is still time.
She dismisses this advice even though she often comments on how well behaved my kids are.
My husband often tells me that he doesn't want their son to play with our kids. Why? He reckons their kid is outta control and will end up in jail one day.
Anyway, I'm going out for coffee with her today. Lord knows what she'll tell me about her son....he's a never ending drama/trauma in their lives.
I would rather die than sell my heart and soul to an online forum Anti Christ like you Monk
- Rorschach
- Posts: 14801
- Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:25 pm
Re: Corporal punishment
You can't reason with infants.
You cant reason with small children.
Sometimes you have to use physical means to get the right long term result in their behavior.
Corporal Punishment is usually a waste of time and hurts others unnecessarily.
Most good kids that cop it don't deserve it, the bad kids don't care and wear it like a badge of honour, it usually has no bearing on their behavior.
Detention is the same you detain a class because of some idiot behavior of a few. Peer pressure and all that nonsense. The bad kids are on top of the food chain... they don't care, in fact its the good kids that show up and the bad kids that don't.
You cant reason with small children.
Sometimes you have to use physical means to get the right long term result in their behavior.
Corporal Punishment is usually a waste of time and hurts others unnecessarily.
Most good kids that cop it don't deserve it, the bad kids don't care and wear it like a badge of honour, it usually has no bearing on their behavior.
Detention is the same you detain a class because of some idiot behavior of a few. Peer pressure and all that nonsense. The bad kids are on top of the food chain... they don't care, in fact its the good kids that show up and the bad kids that don't.
DOLT - A person who is stupid and entirely tedious at the same time, like bwian. Oblivious to their own mental incapacity. On IGNORE - Warrior, mellie, Nom De Plume, FLEKTARD
- Neferti
- Posts: 18113
- Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:26 pm
Re: Corporal punishment
I got the odd smack when I was a kid. Not very often as I was a "perfect" child. My Mother was the disciplinarian, my Father never touched us kids.mantra wrote:I would think a few of us here grew up with corporal punishment. I don't believe in it - violence begets violence.
I can only recall smacking my daughter on the hand (very lightly) and saying NO, when she was crawling, to stop her touching things. She learnt which cupboards in the kitchen she could open (the saucepan one) and which ones she would get a smack on the hand for. Ditto with the drawers ... she would not touch the drawer with the sharp stuff in it. I never smacked her, never had to, often it was just "that look" and she would stop whatever. I figured that I had trained the Dog without violence, so I surely could get a baby to do what I wanted.
A smack on the bottom of a small child does no harm ... don't do it in public, or your will be reported (there are CCTV cameras everywhere) and end up in Court! It has happened here ... harassed Mother with a naughty 2 year old ...
No. I never saw my Father raise a hand, or even raise his voice. I remember when I was about 18 or so, after my Mother had said a few nasty words and Dad went into the living room to get away from the situation ... I followed him and said "why do you put up with her verbally abusing you like that?" His reply was "I just tune out, otherwise it could become a problem".Did anyone else grow up on those American movies that their parents loved? It seemed normal to see women thrown over a man's knee and spanked or a child belted, yet today it would be considered domestic violence or child abuse. Teachers would throw objects at inattentive children and chatting too much would result in a smack with a ruler or for the boys - the cane. Some of our parents might have believed in a few sharp slaps for disobedience, however we learnt quickly because of these threats.
I never, ever got into trouble at school ... perfect child, as I said. I did see Teachers at Primary School slap boys with the ruler and throw chalk and dusters at kids not paying attention. Mr Lane, in Grade 3, was a monster and his son was in my Class.
I think that today's kids want everything on a platter. There is nothing "sensitive" about them. They just expect YOU to cater to them and they don't need to do anything. God knows what sort of Australia/World it will be in the not too distant future with everybody expecting dear old Somebody Else to do everything for them.The yanks have a lot to answer for. My generation grew up under the threat of physical punishment for bad behaviour, but our children haven't. Has the softly softly approach been the better one or are young people too sensitive now?
- mantra
- Posts: 9132
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2010 9:45 am
Re: Corporal punishment
You can if you know how. You've got to get on their level of comprehension though and make it simple. A bit like the way you have to treat some adults.Rorschach wrote:You can't reason with infants.
You cant reason with small children.
Were you a good child or a bad child Roach?Sometimes you have to use physical means to get the right long term result in their behavior.
Corporal Punishment is usually a waste of time and hurts others unnecessarily.
Most good kids that cop it don't deserve it, the bad kids don't care and wear it like a badge of honour, it usually has no bearing on their behavior.
Detention is the same you detain a class because of some idiot behavior of a few. Peer pressure and all that nonsense. The bad kids are on top of the food chain... they don't care, in fact its the good kids that show up and the bad kids that don't.
- mantra
- Posts: 9132
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2010 9:45 am
Re: Corporal punishment
Same here. I still have a vivid memory of my mother chasing me around the garden whipping me with a willow stick whenever she managed to get close enough.Neferti~ wrote:I got the odd smack when I was a kid. Not very often as I was a "perfect" child. My Mother was the disciplinarian, my Father never touched us kids.mantra wrote:I would think a few of us here grew up with corporal punishment. I don't believe in it - violence begets violence.
Hand smacking really irritates me. When I see mothers constantly smacking their kids on the hand I feel like doing the same to them.I can only recall smacking my daughter on the hand (very lightly) and saying NO, when she was crawling, to stop her touching things. She learnt which cupboards in the kitchen she could open (the saucepan one) and which ones she would get a smack on the hand for. Ditto with the drawers ... she would not touch the drawer with the sharp stuff in it. I never smacked her, never had to, often it was just "that look" and she would stop whatever. I figured that I had trained the Dog without violence, so I surely could get a baby to do what I wanted.
A smack on the bottom of a small child does no harm ... don't do it in public, or your will be reported (there are CCTV cameras everywhere) and end up in Court! It has happened here ... harassed Mother with a naughty 2 year old ...
Haha - the perfect child? Didn't you ever get into trouble for talking too much? I was half bad and half good.I never, ever got into trouble at school ... perfect child, as I said. I did see Teachers at Primary School slap boys with the ruler and throw chalk and dusters at kids not paying attention. Mr Lane, in Grade 3, was a monster and his son was in my Class.
They will learn the hard way as they become adults probably because they've had such gratuitous childhoods. The workplace is a lot harder and more impersonal than it was for us when we were younger. Working was so much easier than being at school, but it's the other way around now.I think that today's kids want everything on a platter. There is nothing "sensitive" about them. They just expect YOU to cater to them and they don't need to do anything. God knows what sort of Australia/World it will be in the not too distant future with everybody expecting dear old Somebody Else to do everything for them.
- skippy
- Posts: 5239
- Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2011 3:48 pm
Re: Corporal punishment
I was discussing this yesterday with a work colleague. I went to an all boys high school and the teachers were very violent.
Even the "good kids" got the cane.
But some of the things I saw there would now lead to gaol for those teachers.
I remember a boy in my year that had to report to the form master daily for six of the best, he had blood blisters that would burst and his hands would be covered in blood the abuse was so severe and often.
I used to wonder what his parents thought and why they didn't intervene.
I had another teacher that used to throw the wooden chalk board duster at us and if he hit you in the head with it the whole class had to cheer, anyone not cheering would get the cane.
I saw the same man hold a thirteen year old boy off the ground up against the blackboard around his throat, the boy was very red and it was obvious he could not breath. The boy was from another class and our teacher had gone to that class and asked to see the boy and brought him into our class to make an example of him. I swear the only thing that saved him was the teacher from the other class entering the room to see what was gong on. That teacher and our teacher left the room for a "discussion" our teacher returned and I'm sure the other teacher had given it to our teacher for his actions.
Violence ruled.
Even the "good kids" got the cane.
But some of the things I saw there would now lead to gaol for those teachers.
I remember a boy in my year that had to report to the form master daily for six of the best, he had blood blisters that would burst and his hands would be covered in blood the abuse was so severe and often.
I used to wonder what his parents thought and why they didn't intervene.
I had another teacher that used to throw the wooden chalk board duster at us and if he hit you in the head with it the whole class had to cheer, anyone not cheering would get the cane.
I saw the same man hold a thirteen year old boy off the ground up against the blackboard around his throat, the boy was very red and it was obvious he could not breath. The boy was from another class and our teacher had gone to that class and asked to see the boy and brought him into our class to make an example of him. I swear the only thing that saved him was the teacher from the other class entering the room to see what was gong on. That teacher and our teacher left the room for a "discussion" our teacher returned and I'm sure the other teacher had given it to our teacher for his actions.
Violence ruled.
- mantra
- Posts: 9132
- Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2010 9:45 am
Re: Corporal punishment
My brother told me similar stories Skippy, but even in primary school - some of the teachers lost it with the naughty boys and caused bruising and swelling to their hands and legs. I don't think parents cared much about their children back then. The teacher or any authority figure was always right.
I wonder if IQ ever got disciplined at school.
I wonder if IQ ever got disciplined at school.
- Rorschach
- Posts: 14801
- Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:25 pm
Re: Corporal punishment
Consensus has it I was a very good child.mantra wrote:You can if you know how. You've got to get on their level of comprehension though and make it simple. A bit like the way you have to treat some adults.Rorschach wrote:You can't reason with infants.
You cant reason with small children.
Were you a good child or a bad child Roach?Sometimes you have to use physical means to get the right long term result in their behavior.
Corporal Punishment is usually a waste of time and hurts others unnecessarily.
Most good kids that cop it don't deserve it, the bad kids don't care and wear it like a badge of honour, it usually has no bearing on their behavior.
Detention is the same you detain a class because of some idiot behavior of a few. Peer pressure and all that nonsense. The bad kids are on top of the food chain... they don't care, in fact its the good kids that show up and the bad kids that don't.
Still copped the occasional beating though, never stopped me loving my parents nor did it make me violent.
Oh and good luck with reasoning with small children and particularly infants. Seen it fail too many times to believe its possible.
DOLT - A person who is stupid and entirely tedious at the same time, like bwian. Oblivious to their own mental incapacity. On IGNORE - Warrior, mellie, Nom De Plume, FLEKTARD
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