Joke of the Day

[Neferti]

I can't single out the video. Stupid woman ...

http://www.metaspoon.com/gas-station-pu ... 1aur3599tA

Thick as a brick.

[Neferti]

British humour as it used to be: but now absolutely politically incorrect and very funny!
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It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloureds from running.
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Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
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Following the riots in Tottenham, it's important to remind ourselves that not all black people are stereotypical liars, thieves and arsonists. Many are drug dealers.
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Riots in Birmingham last month caused over £1 million worth of improvements
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Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who's English.. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
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They've had to cancel the pantomime 'Jack & the Beanstalk' in Birmingham, Bristol, Oldham, Bradford, Burnley, Leicester, Manchester and London. Apparently the giant couldn't smell any Englishmen.
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Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But, since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works great!
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Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
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During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".
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Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.
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I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.
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I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
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An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal.

It seems that a caller dialled 911 from a cell phone stating,

"I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah."

To which the call centre employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line."

[Neferti]

Pakistani tip truck.

[Black Orchid]

[Black Orchid]

I can see people falling for this ...

[Black Orchid]

[Black Orchid]

A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.
The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing?"

The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel.."

[Neferti]

A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.
The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing?"

The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel.."

Good one.

[Neferti]

Pacemaker.jpg

[Super Nova]

A Christian leader had his buttocks mauled by a lion after running towards a pride to prove that God would save him.

Alec Ndiwane, a Zion church leader, was on safari with fellow members of his church when he thought he would prove God's "power over animals".

According to the Metro, Ndiwane was said to have fallen into a "deep trance" before he charged at a pride of feeding lions in South Africa's Kruger National Park.

However, it soon became apparent that God was not going to save him, and the lions started chasing him.

Ndiwane sprinted back to the safari truck, but not before one of the lions managed to sink its teeth into his bottom.

The game ranger fired off his gun and scare the animals off, and the man was taken to hospital.

According to the Daily Mail, Ndiwane said: "I do not know what came over me. I thought the Lord wanted to use me to show his power over animals.

"Is it not we were given dominion over all creatures of the earth."

After receiving stitches to the wound, he was later discharged from hospital.

http://www.msn.com/en-au/news/world/man ... spartanntp