AiA in Atlanta wrote:The world is full of bullies, psychopaths really. I worked for one as a teenager then many years later worked for another as an adult. I left that job and now regret not standing up to him. He deserved to be punched in the throat. A couple of jobs later I worked with a bully, a woman this time. This time I stood up for myself mostly by standing back and letting everyone else in the office see and hear her make an ass of herself.
Nice to see you grew some balls when it was a female bully
Only taking the piss.
The important thing from you post is the recognition that bullies exist in adult life. We all have to learn how to deal with them.
However I have some sympathy when it goes too far and there needs to be intervention. I have learned to deal with them myself.
Bullies need a person who is willing to be their victim. While you make yourself the victim it continues.
As I said I experienced some nasty bullying typically by the guys that were 2 years older then me but in the same year. that is, those that had been held back. I went to my 10th year school reunion and looked for these fuckers. When I meet them they were sad fuckers. 8 inches shorter than me. Working in shit go nowhere jobs and had married the local town bikes. I looked down on one of them and said, "I remember when you spat on me". he shit himself and immediately apologised and said how big I looked.
You have to stand up to bullies. The only lesson I ever learned. Even if you take a beating (which I did, 2 black eyes) as long as you get one good blow in and leave a mark. They are cowards and will leave you alone after you demonstrate you will not take their shit. if you take it, they keep on coming. a simple life lesson but is hard to learn.
Maybe my fathers advice was correct. Be a man and go defend yourself. old school but it worked and has served me well for the last 30 or so years.
I remember being pursued in Melbourne in a pub my this guy who was a fuck'n monster. I mean big, powerful, fit and his job required huge physical strength. he was the local legend when it came to fighting and the pub was pretty tough. I made the mistake of coming in one day after work wearing a suit. this bloke hassled me for a fight for 4 hours during the night. In the end I stood next to him in the bar and looked in hard in the eye, standing my ground (never move back or step back if they invade your personal space) and said.... "Look cozy, if you want to fight me OK, but you and I know there is no fuck'n point in me even trying to defend myself is there. you are just going to pulverise the shit out of me. So lets go, I am not even going to bother defending myself really because there is no fuck'n point". risky strategy and I meant it. I saw him beat a huge biker the week before and then pick him up and throw him out a glass window. The month before I saw him take on 2 big guys at once. They never touched him and I could hear the sound of the thumps in the other room in the bar.
Anyway he decided not to beat the shit out of me. At local parties they always invited Cozy, feed him free beer and he acted as the bouncer. a year later I went into the bar and we spoke and I said I am going camping. he said he had never been camping so I invited him. We became friends of sort. I asked him about that day and asked why he didn't beat me to a pulp. he said "... because I stood my ground and looked him in the eye".
Rule number one: stand you ground even at the risk of losing.... there is respect gained from standing your ground and losing in the eye of a bully.
