The God Of Big Whales and Chimp Water Rides

[JW Frogen]

That!!!!!! Is exactly what Camu told me when I took him to see the killer whale Shamu.

[Uncanny Valley]

I think about hand.

[Jovial Monk]

Talk about resurrecting the dead!

[JW Frogen]

Greatest thread evah!!!!

[Pastafarian]

True, whale hymns may be some call to a long lost whale God. But since most whale calls have been shown to cause some form of response in whales listening to them telling them predators are about or similar stimuli, its more likely they are not.

[JW Frogen]

Most human chatter is not about God, indeed not about anything important at all, but some is.

So may it be so for all higher mammals including whales.

There are no atheists in the sea.

[Jovial Monk]

From another Forum I inhabit:

From dawkinsnet

GOD Hello.
MRS NOAH Oh hello God
GOD Is Noah around?
MRS NOAH I'll just get him. Noah. It's for you.
NOAH Who is it?
MRS NOAH It's God
NOAH Oh. oh hello! What can I be doing you for?
GOD I am fed up with the wickedness of the people that I created to be
wicked so I have decided to destroy them all.
NOAH That seems a bit drastic ...
MRS NOAH Yes you did such a good job creating everything ...
GOD Silence! They are rubbish and they all must perish. Except you. You're
all right.
NOAH Oh thanks. That means a lot. Especially coming from you.
GOD So I am going to send a gigantic flood to cover the world and kill
everyone else.
NOAH Gosh. That seems a very elaborate way to go about things.
MRS NOAH Couldn't you just sort of magic all the people you didn't like
dead?
NOAH Or why not just magic them so they are good....?
GOD Don't question me. I've thought it all through. Only a flood will
guarantee that everyone is killed.
MRS NOAH Everyone who doesn't have access to a boat.
GOD No, cos we're inland so no-one has a boat.
NOAH The whole world isn't inland though is it. Some of it is by the sea and
people there will have boats and survive.
GOD Er...um. I will just magic it so that they die.
MRS NOAH Can't you do that with everyone?
GOD No ... so for you to survive you will need to build a boat.
NOAH (quietly) It seems like a lot of effort ...
GOD What?
NOAH Nothing.
GOD But a really big boat, because under the flood system I have
implemented, all the innocent animals will die, so you need to go round and
collect two of every species, one male, one female ...
MRS NOAH You're sure you don't want to rethink the flood thing.
GOD Shut up. It's a good idea.
NOAH A lot of animals are really dangerous though - won't they eat me?
GOD I will magic it so they don't.
MRS NOAH Can't you just magic it that they are temporarily aquatic or can
fly?
NOAH Or that the people you don't like die without all this flooding and
boat building.
GOD I could go off you Noah. You're just being lazy.
NOAH I'm not lazy. But building this boat and collecting all the animals.
It's a logistical nightmare. I mean most of the world is undiscovered so far
and there must be loads of animals I don't even know about ...
GOD Yes there are! Billions. And I need you to discover them, develop the
technical expertise to determine a male and female of each species and bring
them back here to put on the boat which you also have to build. And don't
cut corners. When you get to the Galapagos Islands for example you will find
13 essentially similar, but slightly different species of finches and you
must get two of each. I created them especially to make it appear as if a
thing called evolution existed, so I could test people's faith and I will be
furious if they perish.
MRS NOAH So presumably we'd better collect 2 of every race of people as
well.
GOD No, just you two and your sons Shem, Ham and Japheth and their wives,
from whom all future humans will be descended.
NOAH With the best will in the world God, I and all my sons are Jewish and
even if their wives happen to be Chinese, African and Aborigine, which seems
pretty unlikely given Jewish traditions, do you really think it's
conceivable that they will have people a multi-cultural and racially diverse
world in just 4000 years?
GOD I will magic it so they do.
MRS NOAH Can't you just magic it so ...
GOD No, I want a flood and we're having a flood. Why are you being so
prediluvian about this?
NOAH It just seems a little bit implausible and unnecessary. Can't you come
up with something a little bit more likely? Maybe it's just a localised
flood and I manage to cobble together a raft and save a dog? Then maybe
anyone over 5 can believe it actually happened.
GOD You have to believe, Noah. If Father Christmas can get round to all the
children of the world in a single night, then you can build an ark and
collect all those animals in an hour.
NOAH An hour?
GOD Didn't I mention that?
FX THUNDER BOLT. RAIN STARTS POURING DOWN UNDER.
MRS NOAH You've got to be kidding you mentalist.
GOD Right half an hour.
NOAH Oh God.
GOD That's my name don't wear it out.

Fx SAWING AND BANGING
FX OUT

BAND/STING That Was Then This Is Now - It's Biblical!

RICH Take that God! I wouldn't like to be Him once that sketch is broadcast.
We got him

[boxy]

That's just a critique of the fictional, literary work that is the bible... Froggo doesn't believe in anything that tangible, and so easily discredited as nonsense.

His philosophy boils down to "it's the vibe of the thing, Your Honour"... he feels special, and anyone who says different is not as special as him, and so can be ignored.





Pssst. Frogen, everyone thinks they're the centre of the universe... but there's no such place.

[JW Frogen]

God experience is the realization that the center of the Universe is in everyone, even if they have not realised there is such a place.....yet.

Only the atheist or the religious fundamentalist must find meaning in self as the only place.

[boxy]

Vibe on, Crazy Diamond.