George Carlin - Modern Man

[Bobby]

George Carlin - Modern Man





“I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural,
post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and
downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of
upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can
give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!

I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking,
warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my
database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope.

I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge
to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept,
low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I
wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-
foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of
rehab and in denial!

I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t
shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-
blockers.
I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent,
high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last!
I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child
that sends me hate mail.

But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-
giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue
stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash
sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive
is hardcore--no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow
lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-
authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been
pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried,
double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough
and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my
stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I
don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is
crunch time. I’m hangin in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!”


https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/25390- ... um-digital

[Nom De Plume]

George Carlin - Modern Man





“I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural,
post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and
downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of
upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can
give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!

I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking,
warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my
database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope.

I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge
to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept,
low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I
wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-
foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of
rehab and in denial!

I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t
shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-
blockers.
I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent,
high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last!
I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child
that sends me hate mail.

But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-
giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue
stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash
sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive
is hardcore--no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow
lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-
authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been
pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried,
double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough
and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my
stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I
don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is
crunch time. I’m hangin in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!”


https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/25390- ... um-digital

An opinion now and then might elicit more responses rather than massive blocks of copy and paste text.

[Bobby]

Nome de Plume,

my copy and paste was an exception to the rule.
It was for those who didn't want to listen to the video.
They have the full text instead.

forgiven

namaste