Idiocy vs. Common Sense and The Law

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He is one of four defendants accused of setting fire to Luke Kennedy on a train in Sussex last December, leaving him with full thickness burn injuries.

Palmer said the group were being loud on purpose to try to wake up 22-year-old Mr Kennedy, and one of them shouted he was a tramp.

He said they did not discuss setting him alight, but as the train drew to a halt he put a lighter to Mr Kennedy after being egged on by the others.

He said: "It was just a spur of the moment thing and I just flicked the lighter.

"In no way did we mean to set him on fire or anything like that. We just meant to singe his beard at the bottom.

"If I knew how serious it was I never would have left the train."

The court heard the group left the train and ran off laughing after the attack.

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"The company cheated me because in its advertisements, it says women will be attracted to you if you use Axe [Lynx]... I used it for seven years but no girl came to me," Mr Bedi said in his court petition.

A New Delhi court has accepted half-used body washes, shampoos, anti-perspirants and hair gels for forensic testing in the case.

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Puff goes licence with mystical dragon tale

Heavily bloodshot eyes, slurred speech and talk of dragons worked against Jay Danny Crawford, 22, when he was pulled over by police for a random breath test at Babinda last month.

The Cairns man returned a negative blood alcohol reading.

But suspicious police then asked him to get out of his car and Crawford’s unsteadiness on his feet sparked a fresh round of inquiries, the Innisfail Magistrates’ Court was told yesterday.

"They saw he was unsteady, his speech was slurred and when they asked him simple questions he took long and unusual pauses," police prosecutor Sgt Scott Moon recounted.

"He began talking about mystical dragons."

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He told Magistrate Janelle Brassington he might have spoken about the "3D movie" he saw in Cairns before getting behind the wheel and heading south.

"There were no dragons in it (movie)," he said.

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Police say a man tried to fool officers by telling them his car had been stolen and the offenders were doing doughnuts on the grass in front of Darwin's Cenotaph.

It turns out the 19-year-old car owner was drunk and had been in the vehicle himself when he rolled it about 2am, officers say.

"He presented himself to the police station and actually alleged that someone had stolen his car and did the burnouts and tipped it over,"

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While the officers have so far failed to snare any bag-snatchers, the newspaper is reporting that several undercover officers have been the target of cat-calls and lewd propositions.

One 25-year-old officer said he "panicked" one night when a male driver leaned out of his car window and asked if he wanted to go for a drive.