Men's emotional struggles continue

[Redneck]

Food for Thought !

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-11-29/ ... s/11744734

When two women joined a construction team something unexpected happened .

Movember is over for another year but men's emotional struggles continue
By Sian Gammie

Earlier this month I attended a camel race in Dapto and it felt like 2019 was finally paying its dues.

We hopped into my friend's Lancer and made our way to the racecourse: we bought $5 tickets and entered the action between the Slip'n'Slide and the Dagwood Dogs.

Our hosts were two of my oldest friends, Kirby and Billie.

The girls have worked in construction for a combined 20 years and fitted right in with the tattoos, the singlets, and the lack of craft beer.

The only difference was that they were women.

We've talked about this over the years: the awkward worksite chat, the looks, the shock when arriving for job interviews: "But — you're a woman?"

Kirby will point to her boobs and ask, "Did these give it away?".

'These girls help me'
It soon became clear that everyone they'd ever worked with (welders, hydro-blasters, people whose jobs I cannot name) was at the camel races, too. And they could not wait to speak with my two friends.

No sooner had we chosen to back Camel Six and Camel Three, than Kirby was embraced in the first of many tight hugs she would find herself at the centre of that night.

"I've got three kids," a man said to me, as he waited in line to see Kirby and/or Billie. "One's in school, one isn't right and one has mental health issues. These girls, they help me with it."

Movember ends tomorrow and we've come a long way in improving conversations about men's mental health.

But, as a country, we're still not the winning camel.

Stories were tumbling out
Throughout the night, as I excitedly ran back and forth from the bar, to the betting, to the track, I passed Kirby and Billie in any number of intense conversations with different men.

Despite the slurred speech that can only be the product of excessive alcohol consumption, these conversations were heartfelt.

They were necessary, and they were tumbling out men's mouths and hearts like the tiny jockeys were tumbling off the back of the humps.

Men told Kirby about their relationship problems, their broken marriages, their insecurities. They nutted out drug addiction, rehab, drinking, cheating, and "feeling so bloody blue".

A balding gentleman was using one hand to wipe his tears on Kirby's sleeve and the other to crush an empty tinnie. It slid from his calloused hand. Someone else's 10 cents.

Kirby and Billie, it seemed, were in a unique position.

Being female, they were not a threat, like a man.

And, because they're queer, they were not a possible conquest.

They listen like women, they offer comfort like women, they ask questions like women. Because, they are women.

These men were carrying a heaviness that we all carry in the pits of our stomachs, sometimes. And they were drinking till it vomited out, somewhat out of their control.

"Your beautiful smile was the only reason I came to work every day," one man sniffed, "I was so bloody down".


'A loser like me'
Another insisted, "You wouldn't really want a loser like me coming over for a cup of tea, would you darlin'?"

The sadness of these men was fused to their foreheads, hammered to their hearts. It was obvious they weren't saying these things to other men over coffee, or sharing it in a group chat.

The Men's Shed Association slogan is: "Men don't talk face to face, but shoulder to shoulder." There's beauty in that, when I picture it. And certainly merit.

So, trackside, how come all they wanted was to be face to face, eye to eye?

Far from being an expert, this was the first time I'd seen men talk like this.

If you or anyone you know needs help:

Lifeline on 13 11 14
MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978
Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36

But later, as we trudged home, the girls told me of men coming into work just to tell them their suicide plans. Of men breaking down on smoko, crying into their boots, shaking and exploding.

With no other outlet but the rarest of things — a woman on a worksite — they stuff their sadness into their eskies with a cold pie and some Aussie bravado.

If you're male and between 15 and 44, you're more likely to die of suicide than anything else.

On average, nearly six Australian men will commit suicide today.

If only they all had a Kirby, a Billie — or even just a mate — to lean on.

Sian Gammie blogs at The Sian Show.

[billy the kid]

If women were killing themselves like this all hell would break loose....
The male of the species is a forgotten unit.....no one in government gives a fuck.....

[Black Orchid]

If women were killing themselves like this all hell would break loose....
The male of the species is a forgotten unit.....no one in government gives a fuck.....

Especially if you are a straight white male.

[Nom De Plume]

“In this group, the risk of dying from drug abuse, suicide, hypertension and more than 30 other causes is increasing.”

https://www.zerohedge.com/health/americ ... e-suicides

[billy the kid]

It is sad that "Movember" has once again passed with hardly a whimper from the media, politicians, or the general
public.....but if a female "personality" suddenly announced she had breast cancer, there would be world wide weeping,
wailing and gnashing of teeth....
OMG...what can we do about this....tip a few billion dollars more into breast cancer research etc...…

[Nom De Plume]

If women were killing themselves like this all hell would break loose....
The male of the species is a forgotten unit.....no one in government gives a fuck.....

Especially if you are a straight white male.

What's wrong with them that they are so weak and wimpy?

[Redneck]

If women were killing themselves like this all hell would break loose....
The male of the species is a forgotten unit.....no one in government gives a fuck.....

Especially is you are a straight white male.

What's wrong with them that they are so weak and wimpy?

Its not a joking matter mate, I have lost a nephew that way!

[Nom De Plume]

If women were killing themselves like this all hell would break loose....
The male of the species is a forgotten unit.....no one in government gives a fuck.....

Especially is you are a straight white male.

What's wrong with them that they are so weak and wimpy?

Its not a joking matter mate, I have lost a nephew that way!

I am sorry for your loss, but I wasn't joking and my language is comparable to that used on females and non-white people... therefore just. If you are triggered, maybe you should opt out of this discussion.

[sprintcyclist]

It is a touchy topic.
Us men are much more sensitive than what might be assumed.

Let's continue cautiously.
We may be helping men or women here.

[Nom De Plume]

It is a touchy topic.
Us men are much more sensitive than what might be assumed.

Let's continue cautiously.
We may be helping men or women here.

As a woman who had an 8th grade education, 2 children before I had turned 19, was single and on the pension I will show as little compassion as BO et al showed towards the poor. I may not be poor now, but I lived with that stigma for a long time... the judgements and belittlements by people just like BO...

But you want me to show compassion for the white man... no thanks... white man made this system... and if I can survive and thrive in the system why the fuck cant men. If I can survive the stigmas put upon me by a harsh society why cant men?