Who dun(g) it?

[Black Orchid]

TAXI drivers are the chief suspect in a public poo pandemic that’s leaving a group of business owners flushed with anger.
Shop owners on Hercules St, Ashfield in Sydney’s inner-west say discovering human faeces in the laneway behind their businesses has become “a daily occurrence” along with the nauseating task of cleaning-up the offerings.

The situation has become so bad real estate agent Tim Simpson is considering relocating the business he’s run in the suburb for 40 years.

He said the final straw was catching a taxi driver “in the act” last weekend.

“I understand drivers are expected to work 24/7 but surely there’s better options than this,” he said.
“We’re the ones who are having to clean it up. It’s like living in the Third World.”

National taxi firm 13 CABS is investigating the claims by matching complaints against data from GPS devices fitted in taxis.

Head of client services Simon Purssey said he was “shocked and horrified” to hear the reports.
“I understand ‘when a man’s gotta go, a man’s gotta go’ but if you’ve eaten a bad souvlaki and all of a sudden have to pull over you don’t do it in someone’s property,” he said.

“We need to identify the culprits and bring them in for re-education because it’s not in any way shape or form in line with our corporate guidelines.

“This is the first time the taxi industry has had competition (Uber) for 135 years and we have to be smarter.”

Supermarket owner Sadar Adhikari said other recent incidents included witnessing a taxi driver making a quick dash for the laneway while clenching sheets of toilet paper in hand.

And last week, Star Ace Patisserie owner Rita Lin sprung another offender unloading himself next to her staff entrance.
The situation has reignited calls for the Inner West Council to expedite the town centre upgrade which Mr Simpson said would “help people take pride in the CBD rather than using it as a toilet.”

The upgrade includes a proposal for a public toilet in a new commuter carpark.

A council spokeswoman said the delayed upgrade is “due to begin later this year”

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-l ... 8d36d54f7d

No wonder so many taxi drivers of a particular religious persuasion (not to be mentioned) in Sydney stink. I am surprised they even use toilet paper. Which hand is it again? Left? The same one they use to shake the hands of the kafir/kuffar whilst they use the right to shake hands with their own?

[Neferti]

GROSS! YUCK!

[Outlaw Yogi]

In the early 90s I caught a taxi home to Sylvania from Kings Cross.
The driver was Lebanese and he stunk worse than dog shit.
If was freezing in mid July, and the entire 40 minute journey I kept the window down so I could breath.
He wasn't too happy about the fresh air, but too bad.

I reckon he'd just dropped a turd somewhere, wiped his arse with his left hand and got back in the taxi before picking me up.

When I was a nom for an outlaw club in western Sydney, I was guarding the gate during a meeting.
I saw a Turkish woman walk down the opposite footpath, step in between 2 parked cars, squat down and shit on the street.

[Outlaw Yogi]

One of my neighbours, an old bloke (about 90) who's almost never at his block (lives near Newcastle NSW + has several gold mining leases and an opal mine or few) is losing his block. He's only just paid off the $120K for it and now the council is auctioning it over $10K in rate lands owed.
So he's giving away heaps of stuff. So far 2 tractors, a Bobcat, a Cadillac, a bus, 2 trucks and heaps of building materials have been moved to my block.

He's a 7 day adventurer, and amoungst piles and piles of books were several religious books including a big old bible and the book of Mormon.

Anyway I acquired some sacred toilet paper, it's called Holy Qoran.

[Neferti]

Many years ago the Mormons knocked on my door and, being in a good mood at the time, and it being Summer and I was bored, I went outside and sat on the front steps and listened to them for, maybe, 10 minutes. Then I asked for their Mormon Book ... one of them handed it over to me (though he said he wasn't allowed to do so).

This bunch used to live nearby and you would see them riding their bikes, dressed in suits (and speaking with a Yankie accent).

One Winter evening at about 9.30, they rang my doorbell and I let fly with "unladylike" language (i.e. Fuck Off) and they never bothered me again .... in fact they used to tippy toe across my lawn, I caught them doing it.

Those where the days.

The Mormons used to call on us in Sydney too. I remember that they turned up one evening, knocked on our door and my husband answered the door with "Yes, can I help you?" or whatever polite thing to say to 2 strangers in suits knocking on ones door. Their reply was "Jesus has sent us to help you" or something like that. My husband's response? "Well, go back and tell Jesus that he sent you to the wrong address" ... one of the Mormons was almost wetting himself ... they never came back.

Every so often (but not for a very long time) I have had various other religious door knockers. Some arrive with little children in tow. Sometimes I just ask "what are you selling?" and they don't get it .... At least I no longer get strange guys in suits ringing my doorbell at 9.30 on a Summer evening any more.

[AiA in Atlanta]

Mormon kids come by my place every summer, and we chat, but when they pop the question I send them on their way ... am guessing you have never been to Utah. It is a strange place.

[Black Orchid]

I heard there is a casino there that is half in Utah and half in another state and the side that is in Mormon territory is free of booze and gambling?

[Neferti]

Which State are you interested in, Black Orchid?

I have/had email friends in Texas, Minnesota, Florida, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Sth Carolina, Hawaii, Connecticut, Maine, Maryland,
Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Virginia, California, San Francisco and Alaska.

All very nice people.

[AiA in Atlanta]

Years and years ago when I first lived in Japan I knew a young woman who worked in a camera store. This was back in the days when developing film was an actual business. Some Mormon missionaries brought in some film to be developed and she told me that the young missionary boys dressed up in nothing but fig leaves, pretending to be Adam and Eve

[Outlaw Yogi]

When I lived in Sydney some Mormons came to my )rented) house.
I let them in so I could bomb them with awkward questions.
They didn't seem bothered by the 6 motor bikes in the house or the bong on the lounge room table.

So Brother Brian and Brother John pull out this framed image of a skinny effeminate looking blonde fella and said
"This is our lord Jesus". I replied "He doesn't look very Jewish" ... and they spent the next 20 minutes explaining why Jesus didn't look Jewish.

They gave some run downs on some of the spools in their book ... like .. 500 year before Jesus God told some Jews to escape from an imminent bad event {invasion?} and told them he'd send them to the best land on Earth. So after a boat ride these escapee Jews wind up in what is now Southern US or Mexico ... had wars with the Injuns ect, and those {Injuns} who shaved their heads were supposedly evil [AFAIK the head shaving Injuns were Huron and Mahican (pronounced Mohechan) up in Canada. The Mormons reckoned the Injuns got smoke signalling from the escapee Jews.

Can't remember how the topic of evolution came up, but when I asked "Well how did the dinosaur bones get in the ground?"
Brother Brian replied "Satan put them there to fool people".

Anyway, after about an hour I asked "Do you believe in a god?" To which they replied "Of course/Yes, but we believe in the one true god". Then I theorised "Well I reckon if there was a god, he, she or it wouldn't be so vain and conceited as to want to be worshipped in the first place. That's something I'd expect from an egoistic malevolent entity, y'know like Satan".
Then they packed up their stuff and left.

When I got home from work yesterday, Joe's witness had been and left a leaflet in my letterbox.
Wonder what superstitious thoughts they had upon seeing a goat along my driveway, a cow skull on a tree in my camp site and a "Born again PAGAN" sticker on my caravan?