Leaving Las Vegas

[JW Frogen]

I will be allright, I am just in a drunken self pity.

No mass deletions will follow, I promise.

Come on, Frogen.

The tee off time is still 7.11 am, same course, every Saturday. I still have the car park.

Thanks mate. If I ever learned how to golf I would proudly T up with you.

It will be allright. It always is.

[Rainbow Moonlight]

You should respect your body. A miracle in its integration and efficiency and functioning Frogen, whether or not God created it. Do you poison a tree, drop flying birds dead with a bullet, drown kittens, or overfeed rats until they burst? Do you turn your back to God or Her work? Do you look a gift horse in the mouth?

[JW Frogen]

My body and I have been at war ever since I was a seven year old jumping off my roof playing Band of Brothers.

Only my glorious penis has kept my body and my ego in the treaty of life over glory.

[JW Frogen]

OK, I will get real. I was not going to drink today. I told myself that, I promised myself that. The fire in my right side wanted me to do that. I don't have too many of those "thats" left, I know that.

I go to work, after a previous night of violence and me risking my ass once again. No one fucking cares as long as they don't get hurt; well I can. Any security guard can die without medals or honour. It is all just hired help. Who the fuck cares about that?

Next day in the lobby the endless banality of those who have never risked anything ever. The idiot discussions about parking, loading dock restrictions, and the turf wars of the mental midgets.

I often think I should have died in war.

And then my three+ year old son says "Daddy, I am the black Spiderman, and you are the Red Spiderman."

And I am alive again.

I am willing to endure the worst war I have ever known, that of silent frustration, one more day in Lilliput.

[TomB]

Deny not your destiny. You are irrevocably tied to Las Vegas .... and spandex shorts with leather chaps and a lift up flap.

[JW Frogen]

Deny not your destiny. You are irrevocably tied to Las Vegas .... and spandex shorts with leather chaps and a lift up flap.

Shit, I need to play Dodge Ball!!!!!

[Rainbow Moonlight]

OK, I will get real. I was not going to drink today. I told myself that, I promised myself that. The fire in my right side wanted me to do that. I don't have too many of those "thats" left, I know that.

I go to work, after a previous night of violence and me risking my ass once again. No one fucking cares as long as they don't get hurt; well I can. Any security guard can die without medals or honour. It is all just hired help. Who the fuck cares about that?

Next day in the lobby the endless banality of those who have never risked anything ever. The idiot discussions about parking, loading dock restrictions, and the turf wars of the mental midgets.

I often think I should have died in war.

And then my three+ year old son says "Daddy, I am the black Spiderman, and you are the Red Spiderman."

And I am alive again.

I am willing to endure the worst war I have ever known, that of silent frustration, one more day in Lilliput.

People do die from sustained alcohol abuse over a long period.

[Rainbow Moonlight]

You cab die in war without medals or homour too- a security guard can be a noble profession and offwer moments fo greatness even if it can also be dull and boring.

Stay alive for your boy Frogen.

[Auzgurl]

Alcoholism is caused by pain,lonliness and shame etc...

We try to connect to someone, anyone ,who shows us a little kindness when we feel bereft and empty . My father was an alcoholic, it eventually took the loss of someone precious to him to shake him out of that..he could never regain the time he had lost with this person..it was gone forever lost in haze of inebriation..When he became sober he rediscovered his family..20 years after he first succumbed..he lost the childhood of all his children in between. He never knew who we were as pple.

You have to face yourself and then you have forgive yourself..its the only way.

Your family loves you.

You can chase skirt on the net forever [or hairy chested monkeys ] but at then end of the day ..you will still be left with yourself.

[JW Frogen]

Personally, I think alcoholism is genetic. That is not an excuse, once you know you can't control it then the idiocy of still drinking should be clear.

Shame, loneliness. I suppose some people drink for that, I don't feel a hell a lot of either, perhaps even when I should.

No, in my case it would be more a problem with ego, I like the wild ride I get from booze, the adventures it gives (if not the suffering it inflicts). Also I find so many of the people I have met since I left the military, boring automons who only talk about what they buy and eat or gossip about each other. (Forumites are a different breed.)

Endless discussions from people who are proud they just made some one's life inconveient because they denied them parking, or drone on and on about who said what about who at the fucking water cooler, yet any discussion about politics, books, art, real life ends in about two seconds.

Most people play for such small human stakes and never even know that is what they are doing.

I am sorry, but most people bore the living fuck out of me, the endless mindless banter about nothing, even many of the women I play around with.

And so the ego must drown.