Christmas Cake Recipe
You'll need the following:
1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large brown eggs
2 cups of dried fruit
1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 bottle of whisky
Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it's the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter
in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whisky is still OK.
Cry another tup. Tune up the mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it goose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon the sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget
to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whisky again and go to bed. "
I think I will...
Food thread
Forum rules
It's such a fine line between stupid and clever. Random guest posting.
It's such a fine line between stupid and clever. Random guest posting.
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Jovial Monk
Food thread
CHEESECAKE WITH FRUIT TOPPING
This works well and is quite easy.
Preheat oven to 200C.
1Kg neufchatel cheese
1 punnet mascarpone (whipped cream with salt added, a cream cheese)
4 eggs
4 tbsp Cointreau or 5ml vanilla or almond essence
20cm/8" springform
Whip the two cheeses together, add cointreau or essence. Crack each egg into a glass, look/smell to make sure it is good, add to cheeses, repeat until all 4 eggs are in. The air whipped into the cheese/egg mix will allow it to rise a little bit while cooking, making the cake lighter. This is the easy way.
A slightly better way is to separate the eggs, add the yolks to the cheesemix while that is still beating, when thoroughly blended turn mixer off. In a separate bowl beat the eggwhites until they form soft peaks, add half-one cup sugar, blend again until the soft peaks form again and gently fold this meringue into the cheese mixture--you do get a bit more air into the batter this way. But the easy way works really well so why bother?
Lightly butter the springform--this means spreading a little bit of butter thoroughly on bottom & sides of the form with no blobs of butter visible and all areas coated. Pour the cheese/egg mix into the springform and bung into the oven. Leave at 200C for 20 mins then lower to 180 for another 40 mins or so until it is set in the centre. Turn oven off, leaving the cake inside--this stops the cake from cracking--for an hour or until cake is cool.
A chocolate/macadamia desert dip put on the bottom of the form makes the cake even better!
Fruit topping: fresh berries or currants can be washed in a colander or large sieve, shake until fairly dry. Strawberries need a bit more work. Before you start making the cake wash and hull a punnet of strawberries (hulling means taking off the stem & leaves that are on the top of the strawbs. Slice thinly onto a plate, spread strawbs out, sprinkle with a bit of lemon juice and a light sprinkle of sugar--this makes them soft and luscious.
Put fruit on cooled cake, then melt a tbsp of redcurrant jelly carefully in a small pan, pour over the top of the fruit, gives it a nice glossy appearance.
Here is one I prepared earlier:
This works well and is quite easy.
Preheat oven to 200C.
1Kg neufchatel cheese
1 punnet mascarpone (whipped cream with salt added, a cream cheese)
4 eggs
4 tbsp Cointreau or 5ml vanilla or almond essence
20cm/8" springform
Whip the two cheeses together, add cointreau or essence. Crack each egg into a glass, look/smell to make sure it is good, add to cheeses, repeat until all 4 eggs are in. The air whipped into the cheese/egg mix will allow it to rise a little bit while cooking, making the cake lighter. This is the easy way.
A slightly better way is to separate the eggs, add the yolks to the cheesemix while that is still beating, when thoroughly blended turn mixer off. In a separate bowl beat the eggwhites until they form soft peaks, add half-one cup sugar, blend again until the soft peaks form again and gently fold this meringue into the cheese mixture--you do get a bit more air into the batter this way. But the easy way works really well so why bother?
Lightly butter the springform--this means spreading a little bit of butter thoroughly on bottom & sides of the form with no blobs of butter visible and all areas coated. Pour the cheese/egg mix into the springform and bung into the oven. Leave at 200C for 20 mins then lower to 180 for another 40 mins or so until it is set in the centre. Turn oven off, leaving the cake inside--this stops the cake from cracking--for an hour or until cake is cool.
A chocolate/macadamia desert dip put on the bottom of the form makes the cake even better!
Fruit topping: fresh berries or currants can be washed in a colander or large sieve, shake until fairly dry. Strawberries need a bit more work. Before you start making the cake wash and hull a punnet of strawberries (hulling means taking off the stem & leaves that are on the top of the strawbs. Slice thinly onto a plate, spread strawbs out, sprinkle with a bit of lemon juice and a light sprinkle of sugar--this makes them soft and luscious.
Put fruit on cooled cake, then melt a tbsp of redcurrant jelly carefully in a small pan, pour over the top of the fruit, gives it a nice glossy appearance.
Here is one I prepared earlier:
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Jovial Monk
Re: Food thread
Lovely black and red currants on the above cheesecake, not by accident.
Late spring/early summer fresh currants can be bought. Eat absolute shitloads of them! Loaded with vitamins & antioxidants! Later on blue berries arrive and scoff them by the barrowload too!
Duck and blue berry.
Want one duck breast fillet per person, punnet blueberries between two.
Slice duckbreast thinly (leave the skin on, don't have to eat it but it gives better flavor if left on)
Stirfry duck breasts a minute or two, add the blue berries and a tbsp cassis liqueur (a decent brand) and stir, remove duckbreasts and blue berries, reduce the liqueur a bit, pour over the duck.
Eat the damn things.
Late spring/early summer fresh currants can be bought. Eat absolute shitloads of them! Loaded with vitamins & antioxidants! Later on blue berries arrive and scoff them by the barrowload too!
Duck and blue berry.
Want one duck breast fillet per person, punnet blueberries between two.
Slice duckbreast thinly (leave the skin on, don't have to eat it but it gives better flavor if left on)
Stirfry duck breasts a minute or two, add the blue berries and a tbsp cassis liqueur (a decent brand) and stir, remove duckbreasts and blue berries, reduce the liqueur a bit, pour over the duck.
Eat the damn things.
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Jovial Monk
Re: Food thread
Yes I am good and yes I cooked that damn cheesecake!
Took a strawb one to dog obedience club yesterday. Didn't take long to disappear!
Took a strawb one to dog obedience club yesterday. Didn't take long to disappear!
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Auzgurl
Re: Food thread
Its looks impressive..definitely not a reccessionary cheesecake ..
Well done Monk
Well done Monk
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Auzgurl
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Jovial Monk
Re: Food thread
There is a margerita(sp) cake in an Italian cookbook I have, very light and delicate, nice and eggy.
Can't remember the exact recipe but it involved sifting the flour twice, quite a few eggs, with the whites well beaten and folded in. Will look up and post, perhaps tonight.
Folding. Just mixing in beaten egg whites into the flour/egg-yolk mix with lots of stirring would drive out all the air and our cake won't rise!
So, with nice big spoon scoop up some of the meringue, fold into the mix, moving the spoon in a figure of eight motion very gently mixing the meringue in--minimal stirring essential! Repeat until all meringue used up, shove cake into oven.
Baked custard--nice chocolate custard made with egg yolks, the whites whipped into meringue and put on top of the custard and all this baked in the oven or it wouldn't be a baked custard, d'uh!
Lots of eggs--eggs have had a bad rap lately. They do not give you cholesterol! That said, I would not eat lots of eggy things in a week, but 2-3 months of cold weather coming up and a baked custard or two is great!
Nice entree, classic Italian.
Get a nice ripe rock melon (cantaloupe in the US) remove seeds and skin and cut into segments. On one plate per person spread really nicely cut thin slices of prosciutto, put melon on top (or the ham on top of the melon, who fuckin' cares?) hmmmmm deelish, juicy sweet melon plus tangy prosciutto (aka Parma ham.)
Can't remember the exact recipe but it involved sifting the flour twice, quite a few eggs, with the whites well beaten and folded in. Will look up and post, perhaps tonight.
Folding. Just mixing in beaten egg whites into the flour/egg-yolk mix with lots of stirring would drive out all the air and our cake won't rise!
So, with nice big spoon scoop up some of the meringue, fold into the mix, moving the spoon in a figure of eight motion very gently mixing the meringue in--minimal stirring essential! Repeat until all meringue used up, shove cake into oven.
Baked custard--nice chocolate custard made with egg yolks, the whites whipped into meringue and put on top of the custard and all this baked in the oven or it wouldn't be a baked custard, d'uh!
Lots of eggs--eggs have had a bad rap lately. They do not give you cholesterol! That said, I would not eat lots of eggy things in a week, but 2-3 months of cold weather coming up and a baked custard or two is great!
Nice entree, classic Italian.
Get a nice ripe rock melon (cantaloupe in the US) remove seeds and skin and cut into segments. On one plate per person spread really nicely cut thin slices of prosciutto, put melon on top (or the ham on top of the melon, who fuckin' cares?) hmmmmm deelish, juicy sweet melon plus tangy prosciutto (aka Parma ham.)
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Jovial Monk
Re: Food thread
Cheesecake, made properly, is de luxe food, yet neufchatel is not that dear!
Choc Bavarian? Dunno! Mainly been doing the fusion thing, wog & asian food. Haven't even got a german cookbook! Sorry! Make the cheesecake! Rich, deelish yet cheap and easy! If you can't afford or can't find mascarpone replace it with some thickened (I call it sickened) cream!
Choc Bavarian? Dunno! Mainly been doing the fusion thing, wog & asian food. Haven't even got a german cookbook! Sorry! Make the cheesecake! Rich, deelish yet cheap and easy! If you can't afford or can't find mascarpone replace it with some thickened (I call it sickened) cream!
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Jovial Monk
Re: Food thread
Doesn't take much to make something look great.
The white with black dots stuff is dragonfruit. It doesn't really have much taste, a nice slight lemony flavor, but boy does it add an exotic look to a fruit salad. Notice the red currants? Add another color, add vits & antioxies!
The white with black dots stuff is dragonfruit. It doesn't really have much taste, a nice slight lemony flavor, but boy does it add an exotic look to a fruit salad. Notice the red currants? Add another color, add vits & antioxies!
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