Ask Swami

[AiA in Atlanta]

Swami,

Recently a friend of mine mentioned his problem with "poo balls." Not understanding, I asked for clairification and was told it is small balls of poo and toilet paper trapped in hair between ones legs. Is there are remedy for this?

[J.W. Frogen]

Dear Swami,

What are the restrictions between eating full grain bread and anal sex?

Kind regards,

JW Frogen.

[Swami Dring]

I st-st-st-stutter. Wh-wh-wh-what sh-sh-sh-should I do?

Buy a rope and find a tree. That will cure your stuttering.

[Swami Dring]

Swami,

Recently a friend of mine mentioned his problem with "poo balls." Not understanding, I asked for clairification and was told it is small balls of poo and toilet paper trapped in hair between ones legs. Is there are remedy for this?

A 'friend', you say. Hmmm...

BTW, these little bum-barnacles are known as "mustangs" or "stangs".

First, get yourself a Weed Burner 2000, like this dude:



Head out to the back yard with your weed burner. Have your trigger-hose nearby as well. Have your friend remove his pantaloon and knickers. Instruct him to spread his feet wide apart and lean forward until his hands are touching the ground. Next, fire up the weed burner and blast those unholy croutons. It will only take a second or two. Immediately spray that ass with the trigger-hose and voila! Not only are the stangs gone, but all of the bum-hairs have burnt off too, preventing further outbreaks.

This method is endorsed by former Perth Glory coach Bernd Stange.

[Swami Dring]

Dear Swami,

What are the restrictions between eating full grain bread and anal sex?

Kind regards,

JW Frogen.

I'm not sure what you mean by restrictions.

I would think that a high fibre diet would be a must for anyone whose partner is considering venturing down the chocolate speedway. I have read that a typical high-fat, low-fibre western diet causes a steady build-up of bituminous gunk on the walls of the bowel. I don't want to plant my plonker in that, thankyou.

As Bob Brown says, brown bread for brown town.

[AiA in Atlanta]

Swami,

Recently a friend of mine mentioned his problem with "poo balls." Not understanding, I asked for clairification and was told it is small balls of poo and toilet paper trapped in hair between ones legs. Is there are remedy for this?

A 'friend', you say. Hmmm...

BTW, these little bum-barnacles are known as "mustangs" or "stangs".

First, get yourself a Weed Burner 2000, like this dude:



Head out to the back yard with your weed burner. Have your trigger-hose nearby as well. Have your friend remove his pantaloon and knickers. Instruct him to spread his feet wide apart and lean forward until his hands are touching the ground. Next, fire up the weed burner and blast those unholy croutons. It will only take a second or two. Immediately spray that ass with the trigger-hose and voila! Not only are the stangs gone, but all of the bum-hairs have burnt off too, preventing further outbreaks.

This method is endorsed by former Perth Glory coach Bernd Stange.

Wouldn't an anal wax be a safer solution to this hairy problem?

[Swami Dring]

Fire makes it good.

Plus, the weed burner technique would be less painful.

[Backdoor Aussie Gal]

I've had anal intercourse several times but have experienced anal incontinence for up to a week after each time. My boyfriend tells me he would like to do me anally on a regular basis but I am worried the incontinence will worsen. Will my body get used to anal penetration?

[AiA in Atlanta]

Fire makes it good.

Plus, the weed burner technique would be less painful.

My *friend* took your advice and reported a "charred penis" as the unhappy outcome.

[Outlaw Yogi]

At about age 19 I lit a fart and burnt my arse. Had a blue flame and went 'pop!'