Eating Out

[boxy]

No double entendres for this one, Froggo?

[mantra.]

Talking of McDonalds - have you ever heard of anything more ridiculous.

'This is an emergency': woman calls 911 after McDonald's runs out of nuggets

US authorities say a Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of Chicken McNuggets.

According to a police report, 27-year-old Fort Pierce resident Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out.

She says employees refused to give her a refund, saying all sales were final. A cashier told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate.

Police say Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge.

"This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one," Latreasa Goodman told police. "This is an emergency."

A McDonald's spokeswoman said the company didn't immediately have a comment on the incident.

[Hebe]

A McDonald's spokeswoman said the company didn't immediately have a comment on the incident.

I spose it would be bad PR to call a customer a fucking idiot.

[mantra.]

She says employees refused to give her a refund, saying all sales were final. A cashier told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate

There could be a principle here - not that it warrants calling an emergency number, but if you order something specific and pay for it - you should either receive the requested item or receive an immediate refund. A lot of people would be annoyed - and in the US, the staff are probably lucky that one of them didn't get a bullet in the brain or stabbed for this "no refund" policy. It's quite a life threatening policy considering the sickos getting around these days.

[Jovial Monk]

I believe a refund was legally due, she should have called her lawyer. A return of food is not possible here, but the customer hadn't gotten her food.

I agree with Hebe, a fucking idiot.

[Jovial Monk]

Then there was the fish eating contest in Northern Scotland where a participant lost a molar and the eventual winner had a tummy bug.


The headline read:


One tooth free for Fyffe, sick Sven ate nine tench.

[Jovial Monk]

The Kerry O’Keefe Joke:

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She
holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" ?

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[Jovial Monk]

Funny but real headlines

* Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
* Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
* Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
* House passes gas tax onto senate
* Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
* Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
* William Kelly was fed secretary
* Milk drinkers are turning to powder
* Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
* Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
* Farmer bill dies in house
* Iraqi head seeks arms
• Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
* British left waffles on Falklands
* Flying Squad to Tackle Bird Flu

My favourite headline was about a South Sydney Rugby League player named Robbie Burn. His contract was up but Souths hadn’t re-signed him by the time the contract had expired. So Robbie went to other clubs looking for a start. The headline (I think it was in the old Daily Mirror) was:

SOUTHS FIDDLE WHILE BURN ROAMS

The greatest headline of all, however, was tracked down by Private Eye:

“Sailor clings to buoy for 17 hours”