2017 - Domestic Violence

[mellie]

Victim blaming isn't something sane or just people engage in.

Bit like blaming the victim of a tragic road accident, an accident the victim themselves weren't responsible for.

Perpetrators don't usually share their dirty laundry when cultivating/grooming victim's.

Are very clever at hiding their true selves.

[mellie]

Fortunately, my family and friends are both sane and just.

A fantastic support network is what has helped with our recovery from domestic abuse and PTS of discovering someone we trusted was in fact a homicide suspect.
Believe me, when we meet someone, never do we imagine skeletons like this being in their closet.
Not until homicide detectives turn up unannounced at your home late at night and spill the beans.

In fairness to my perp, its not at all unreasonable to expect him to divulge he was a homicide suspect, and had been for some 20 odd year's on our first date. -wry smirk.<----note sarcasm!

He'd had a lifetime to articulate his craft. Deception!
After all, he had been deceiving detectives, work colleagues, family and intimate partner's for decades before I had the misfortune of meeting him.

[mellie]

We could regress to individual incidents of abuse, go tip for tap for an eternity Sprint.
I could guarantee you, id win this, statistically speaking.


Bottom line, do the following figures reflect to your way of thinking the facts concerning domestic violence in Australia.


https://www.ourwatch.org.au/understandi ... nd-figures

If not, then you may need to delve further into why not.

Beginning with asking yourself honestly, what are the figures/stats you would prefer were truth.

Bump for Sprint.

[mellie]

Keen to know the true underlying rationale concerning under representation of your gender Sprint?


Because Men's Rites "said" activists are too busy hating and chewing into woman who are successfully representing themselves.

Faceless, cloaked, and really more about making money on hate sites than focusing on "Key" issues central to men's wellbeing it seems.

https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/did-yo ... zpsnx.html


Wonder if they'll forget again this year?

The reason why men remain under represented.

Mens rites activists even forgot about International Mens Day last year.

[sprintcyclist]

.................The story of male domestic violence victims is not one you often hear. But when news.com.au put a call out for blokes who were willing to share their experiences, we received 15 responses. Within these personal accounts, the impossibility of finding community support was a recurring theme.

Nick describes going to church one Easter after his wife had punched him so badly that he was bruised from the bottom of his eye down to his chin.

“I didn’t really want to go, but it was a large congregation and people just stared at me. And we do go to church regularly. I knew quite a few of the parishioners and nobody said a thing, they just ignored it. They just stared.”

When Nick reached out for support from his GP, she referred him to a counsellor, who promptly told him: “‘Men can’t be victims of domestic violence, not in the same way as women.’ And that was just absolutely devastating.”

Similarly, Nick says the only time he tried to take out an Apprehended Violence Order (commonly known as an AVO or in some states, a VRO) against his wife, police indicated he was the one who would be removed from the family home because “custody of the children should remain with the mother, unless she’s been violent towards the kids.”..............

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-l ... a69e99f53e

this happens regularly.
The law is against men

[mellie]

When I fled our family home back in April, 2017, I had planned to flee to a close friends house, who unbeknown to myself at the time was far away visiting an ill relative. .... So we ended up in a complex of crisis unit's filled with woman covered in awful physical injuries. The woman next to us in unit 5 had been bitten so badly on her mouth and upper lip by her husband, she required several sutures. She was 35 weeks pregnant and had 3 children under 6 in her care already.

Unit 4 - severe bruising to her thoracic region and possible fracture to her cheek bone, swelling was too sever to determine with any degree of certainty if a fracture was present or not.

Unit 1- Empty
Unit 6- non English speaking and had a young baby.

My daughter at the time was traumatized and telling everyone who we came in contact with what daddy had done to her before we left, in a disturbing and animated manner.

She was 4, she told DHS Child protection officers, Police, crisis workers, counsellors, doctors, ....then later teachers.... and most recently, drew pictures of her father on the school white board of her father hurting her, while other kids were drawing pictures of unicorns and rainbows.

Charges were dropped because of her age.
And he purchased the best barrister in Melbourne. Top firm.

She's in therapy, we both are, Sprint, if you think only woman get away with murder, think again.


And quite literally too.

[mellie]

We only have legal aid Sprint, whereas he has purchased the very best legal representation possible.
We have a different legal aid barrister represent us just about each time, who are often vague about our case and or poorly prepared.

This in itself is unfair and lacking equality.

Our last Barrister turned up unprepared, half an hour late after we'd already entered the court room .....whereby the judge yelled at him, and told us all to prepare correctly before returning at 2pm.

He had no idea where we were up to in our case.

So disheartening.


Needless to say, my lawyer won't be requesting him to represent us next time.

[mellie]

Needless to say, I'm journaling our journey, and depending how this ends, I may feel the need to expose what I believe to be a flawed and clumsy bureaucracy.

I can understand why so many victims give up.


Rest assured, we wont be.

[sprintcyclist]

It's not about you.

[mellie]

Charges were also dropped because DHS child protection officer Denis J.. hadn't completed his report in time so the court didn't have his report when they dropped the charges.

Had we had this report when we needed it, the outcome would have been very different perhaps.

CPO Denis J... retired half way through our case.


The scant information eventually came, and would have been adequate, had it not came several months too late.


Gets better.....

Our personal details weren't redacted then were placed onto the court portal.

We now are relocating.

The system is geared towards benefiting woman Sprint you say?


We are fighters Sprint, we have our dignity, and I promise you, after all this is done, you may read about our situation, but I can tell you with now, I understand why victims of domestic violence give up and return to their abusers.


At least they know what to expect.

The ongoing systemic abuse, degradation with having to tell so many different people, lawyers, barristers, police, allied support network personnel, government departments, teachers.. ... is absolutely crushing at times.

We are so blessed to have so many good people propping us up.

Faith, luck and an overwhelming sense of justice is what's getting us through.

And keeping very very busy too.