Lexicon reports

[mellie]

Out of millions of men in Australia, why did they choose to question him?

[mellie]

Had spectrum not come to the house to question him, I can tell you now, I wouldn't have even considered looking at his search history.

I didn't even have a key to our letter box.
I never even questioned why I wasn't to fetch our mail.

[mellie]

And degrading.

I forgot to mention degrading.

My thoughts, feelings, opinions never mattered, wasn't even permitted a say as to the way the house was organized.
Wasn't allowed to make everyday decisions ie, what slimy vegetables from the fridge I could throw out or risk him coming home and abusing me, called me "arrogant with food" because I tried to throw out something that had expired.
Hed tell me what to buy, would get me to accumulate flybys on his card. I wasn't able to spend the points, they were his, and he'd scold me if I forgot to swipe the card, condesendingly talking down to me like a little girl, "did you do this, have you done that."

Happened so slowly, I barely noticed. Just put his domineering behaviour down to intergenerational differences.

Even furniture arrangements, I wasn't allowed to remove or change a thing in his exceedingly cluttered home, and then when his parents dropped off their household contents they didn't wish to take with them to their retirement village, my views weren't considered then either.

I arrived home with our daughter from a play centre to her bedroom being filled with his parents furniture.
Even my mere expression was enough to enrage him and respond " well, she doesn't sleep in there at night anyway, she sleeps with you in 4th bedroom."

I couldn't do anything right.

I dressed wrong, cooked wrong, I was merely a boarder with financial and sexual benefits complete with my own living quarters towards the end.

He was obsessed with me having more babies, despite me having two traumatic miscarriages after our first. Dr advised we wait 12 month's but he begged to differ.

I was to remain on single parent benefits as he said if I didn't, we're all going to have to sleep on the street or would have to take perfect strangers into our home as boarders.

Where on earth would we fit them?

The night he assaulted our youngest, we were scared to leave. Had to wait for the gas specialist to come fix the central heating the following morning in order to leave with just a couple of bags.

I knew if another man was present he'd be less inclined to go off.

I figured he'd assumed we were going to the shops or friend's place in Ballarat for a visit.

In hindsight, my purpose had been served, he knew I was suspicious re-computer, and probably treated us this way so we'd finally get the hint and go, indefinitely, once and for all.

[mellie]

This is how it was, before and after spectrum.

[mellie]

Hed done the maths.

We had become a liability, was more to his financial benefit to do something terrible enough to force us to leave for good.

I was suspicious. He knew this.

Now he rents out his rooms to multiple woman whom he abuses also according to reports from neighbours.

They hear him screaming often at one in particular, and instructs them to catch taxis at the end of his street.

He would be enjoying forcing them to do the walk of shame up to the end of the street, the same walk of shame I endured before my parent's gave me their car, which we escaped in.

[mellie]

It's taken me a long time to gush this.

Felt like a festering boil.

I anticipate we'll be in counselling for a long time, but I feel a little better each day.

Might only be a little, but we have come so far in just 12month's.

Still fragile, but feeling blessed with our support system. Counsellors, church, school, extended support networks re- daughter's ASD. And of course my precious family and friends.


Xx and PA, for allowing me to share this.

We need to be supportive of other's in a similar situation to ours.

[sprintcyclist]

Wow, sorry to hear that Mellie.

[mellie]

It's all good Sprint.

Just needed to get it off my chest.


Thanks for listening.


So proud of my daughter, she got two very important awards at assembly today.


Just keep focusing on the positives as it gets us through.

[mellie]

Tomorrow, my little girl is going to her access visit holding gods hand.

And he'll never let it go.


I have a very special relative, she's a school teacher and Sunday school teacher also who reassured me of this fact tonight.

Thanks J.


Xxx

[sprintcyclist]

Is this a supervised access visit of her to his place?